GETTINGtheGIRLS

Farewell Dear Friends

2008-06-11T10:50:00.000-07:00

Today is the one year anniversary of our "family day" - the day we were officially declared in court to be the adoptive parents of sisters Galyna and Anastasia. Like most others, I began blogging to keep family and friends updated on our journey while in Ukraine, but sharing our experience with you has been so rewarding, and blogging became such a habit, that I've continued since our arrival home last July.

I will probably never have the chance to meet you, so let me say how much you've meant to me, and to all my family. Your comments and emails have been such an important part of my life that it's hard to say goodbye. But the time has come for me to spend less time blogging and more time parenting as we become a homeschool family, juggling work and school.

I will continue reading your blogs of course, and may even start up a homeschooling blog later this summer, so perhaps you haven't heard the last of me.

Whether you are pre-adoptive, post-adoptive (or non-adoptive), I pray for all God's blessings on your journey. If you are preparing for a trip to Ukraine, I've listed some links to old posts below that you may find helpful.

The gift of adoption has been an indescribable joy for our family, and I thank you for sharing in our lives the past 13 months.

Grace and Peace - Jim

Memorable postings from our adoption trip to Ukraine:

The Scourge of Ukraine - this is why Ukraine's orphan problem is a real humanitarian crisis.
Going to Court - it's funny how we all get so wigged out about this. Dana wrote this beautiful post about that unforgettable day in Odessa.
A Day in Odessa - for most adoptive families, the craziness doesn't really get started until the last few days. Type-A folks beware, NOTHING is predictable about this!
Funky Odessa - this is a soulful city with fascinating people and surprisingly beautiful in places.
Life in the Orphanage - nothing beautiful about this!
Why Not Me? - a hard lesson learned.
The Mysterious Oleg - if you're using the "Oleg team," here's the man behind those cryptic emails!
The Ukrainian Holocaust - if your adoptive kids are from the pro-Russian parts of Ukraine (east or south), they need to know about this.
Time Warp - I'll never forget this day, traveling back in time to an abandoned Soviet air base.
The Permanent Things - as desperately poor as these people are, there remains much to be admired, and there's much for us to learn.
Beach Party! - if you go in the Summer, make sure to check out the beaches.
More on Odessa - prepare to have fun in this wild town!
Homecoming! - the moment we all long for. I'll never forget seeing all our friends waiting for us!

A Great Summer Read

2008-06-05T13:41:00.000-07:00

Colin Thubron must be one of the finest writers of our time. I came across Among the Russians (formerly titled "Where Nights Are Longest") on the excellent website of Dr. George Grant, a Presbyterian pastor in Franklin, TN, who has this extraordinary book listed among his 25 top "modern non-fiction titles."

If you've ever traveled in Russia or Ukraine (or plan to), you will be blown away by this fascinating story of Thubron's solo travels throughout Western Russia and Ukraine in the early 80's. He is stunningly perceptive while penetrating deeply into the soul of ordinary people, and his descriptions of them will hit home with anyone who's spent time in this mysterious part of the world:

"The whole country is like a requiem. In its consuming maternity, its individual children drown; and all other nations become petty or irrelevant - they are far away. From her own people Russia elicits a helpless worship of belonging. She contains them with the elemental despotism of an earth mother, and they feel for her the supplicant's tormented tenderness."

I love reading travel books in the Summer, and this is easily the finest in the travel genre I've ever read. If your adoption adventure takes you to Siberia, check out Thubron's In Siberia, which also gets rave reviews on Amazon.

Picture of the Week

2008-06-05T11:57:00.000-07:00

We had a few moments of excitement recently when a brilliant rainbow appeared late in the evening. Everyone ran outside to take it in and it was made even more special when Galyna said that it was the first time she'd ever seen one!

The Joy of Mud

2008-06-05T11:52:00.000-07:00

"...if you was my size the dirt would catch you up faster too."

-Nikki Giovanni

Farewell to Banner

2008-05-30T09:37:00.000-07:00

Today was the last full day of school for the girls and we prepare to say goodbye to Banner Christian School with a very heavy heart. Teachers, administrators, fellow students and parents have embraced our daughters with nothing but love from the very first day they arrived.

Anastasia distinguished herself as an outstanding student, receiving awards for highest GPA in art and algebra, and for behavioral excellence. Headmaster Dr. Tom Burkett praised her for work ethic and gave her great encouragement for her academic future, reminding her to make the study of scripture her top priority as she prepares to study for the GED and move onto college.

Both girls were under tremendous pressure this year and we are so proud of what they accomplished. Galyna's Bible teacher says that she "blossomed" in the second half of the year and has shown great wonder and enthusiasm for serious study of the Bible. She made many friends, and this shot shows how sad she is to leave. Galyna's goal is to return after a year or two of getting back to basics in homeschool and we're going to leave that door open.

Choosing a school is probably the most challenging part of adopting older kids, and our family will always be grateful to God for bringing us to Banner Christian School.

A Tearful Farewell To TMS

2008-05-23T12:34:00.000-07:00

After three wonderful years, we had to say a tearful goodbye today to Tuckahoe Montessori School. It is so fitting that Christian was comforted by his teacher, as he and his classmates marched out. Calling "Miss Shelly" a teacher simply doesn't suffice. She has been such an important part of our son's life and has given him the most precious gift -- a love of learning.

It was an especially emotional day as we bid farewell to a remarkable woman. "Miss Pat" is retiring 28 years after founding this wonderful school, the mission of which is to educate the "whole child." I learned much from her during many long conversations about education, and her devout Roman Catholic faith. I've been enriched by coming to understand how truly Catholic and liturgical a Montessori education is, to reflect the order of God's creation.

Miss Pat has brought great glory to God during a professional career devoted to education. She has been such a blessing to our family. How we will miss her!

I've never seen a more tradition-rich city than Richmond and it is not surprising that Miss Pat's daughter Amanda will take over as Director. It is institutions like TMS that make this a great city, and it is good to know that it is in such excellent hands.

Christian with buddies Caleb and Anton - the "Pups" as Christian calls them.

Sometimes you come across people who you just know are doing what they've been called in life to do and such is the case with Miss Shelly. For three year's, one of the constant refrains in our home has been "Miss Shelly said......" Christian has adored this woman from day one, and after three amazing years, it is so hard to say goodbye. She has made an impact on our family that will last forever, both inside the classroom and out.

We love you Miss Shelly and will miss you greatly!

Sharing Our Joy

2008-05-21T09:12:00.000-07:00

In light of some of my recent self pitying posts, I've suddenly noticed how much joy we are surrounded by with our children. We are having a spectacularly beautiful Spring in Virginia, and our kids can't wait to go outside every day and play.

Christian has been reluctant to swing, but in the same week that he started riding his bike, he's conquered his fear of the swing! It's amazing to witness how much joy a child can have by simply swinging, and how much joy a parent gets by watching their children make progress.

Galyna is delighted now that watermelon season is here! This girl could easily consume a watermelon a day. We call them "galla-melons" around the house.

My older daughter has proven to be an excellent student, especially when it comes to studying the Bible. She reads and studies daily in her NIV and her Russian Bible, and has scored 100 on all her recent quizzes in Bible class. She actually scored 105 for acing the 91st Psalm - early!

Our daughters are one-quarter Jewish, so I like to imagine that Nastia seems to have an almost instinctive grasp of the Psalms. I think she is also beginning to "get" the gospel, and will soon meet with our Youth Pastor in preparation to become a communicant member of the church.

Witnessing this has provided her parents with a good lesson. We haven't pushed it on her, except to insist that she attends Sunday School, Worship, and Youth Group regularly. She was very unenthusiastic at first, but obviously God had different plans for her!

She has been surrounded by wonderful teachers, mentors, and so many people praying for her.

To God be the glory.

RAT PATROL!

2008-05-19T14:55:00.000-07:00

Recently we had a pet swap as Galyna traded her rats to Christian for his fish.

The rats are entirely happy about this as now they get to ride on Christian's fire truck!

Christian has a blast watching the rats race through the kitchen. So far the only injury we've had is when Gabriella sustained a tail ding after crashing into the pantry.

She's expected to make a full recovery and is already back in action!

Breakthrough!

2008-05-06T15:59:00.000-07:00

This is one of the happiest boys in America!

It has been such a joy to watch Christian conquer his fears of riding his bike. He's still on training wheels, but up until last week, he would not even sit on the seat. This is one of those truly unforgettable, sweet moments as a parent. I think Dana and I are just as thrilled as he is!

The "Problem" of Shyness

2008-04-21T08:50:00.000-07:00

Is there something wrong with being shy? The Publishers Weekly review of Shyness: How Normal Behavior Became a Sickness, sums up the theme of this controversial book:

"Before you sell a drug, you have to sell the disease. And never was this truer than for social anxiety disorder," concludes English professor and Guggenheim fellow Christopher Lane in this scathing indictment of the American Psychiatric Association and the psychopharmacological industry. "

I probably won't read this book, but I heard a fascinating interview with the author on the excellent Mars Hill Audio Journal. The topic is of great interest to Dana and me as one of our daughters is extremely shy, well beyond the usual sullenness demonstrated by many adopted older children early on.

But Lane says "Wait a second!!!" Shyness used to be a virtue, especially for young ladies! They called it modesty, and your modest children do not need to be medicated! He points out that the bias against shyness is particularly problematic in America, where we put a premium on gregariousness.

When I heard him say that, I immediately thought of being in Moscow five years ago when we adopted Christian. Every morning we gathered in a huge dining hall for breakfast, and marveled as we observed how easy it was to spot an American (or Canadian) from a mile away! The Yanks and Canucks were always smily and chatty, while the Russians were typically dour, unexpressive and just plain unfriendly, at least at first glance (this is especially troubling for a Texan!). I was secretely thinking, "What's wrong with these people?"

Of course those who grew up in the Soviet Union had to be very careful about being open to strangers, but the fact is most people in the world just aren't nearly as extroverted as Americans, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with them.

That is something I've had to learn when it comes to my shy daughter. She doesn't immediately seek to ingratiate herself to everyone she meets (like me) and I frequently find myself getting frustrated at her seeming lack of social graces.

Maybe I could learn something from her?

The Persecuted Church

2008-04-16T13:27:00.000-07:00

Just about everyone's heard of the genocide in Darfur being carried out by the Islamic Arab regime in Sudan. Less well known is a similar campaign of terror and mass murder that targeted Sudan's Christians in the South (the Darfur victims are black Muslims).

God Grew Tired Of Us is the shocking, yet ultimately uplifting story of a group of young men known as the Lost Boys. Thousands of them became refugees in the late 1980's with absolutely no one in the world to turn to. They walked literally thousands of miles to refugee camps, first in Ethiopia, then Kenya.

This fine documentary follows a group that gets to come to America. They had never used electricity their entire lives! This is a great movie for internationally adopted teenage children. Our daughters watched with fascination as the young Africans saw a refrigerator and a toaster for the first time. I don't think they ever realized that some people in the world actually have it alot worse than they did in Ukraine.

Most compelling to me was to see America through the eyes of strong Christian believers, who are shocked to see the way we live. At one point one of them says, "Who is this Santa Claus? .... Is he in the Bible?"

Moments like that are seen throughout and indeed many scenes are hilarious. But the most important thing about this film is that it reminds me that our Christian brothers and sisters throughout the world are suffering terribly.

Christians are the most persecuted people-group on the planet today. The mainstream media overlooks this fact daily, but if you live in many parts of Africa, South Asia or the Middle East, being a Christian is dangerous and deadly business. Unknown Christians are martyred daily throughout the world.

We need to speak out about this and pray for the more than 200-million Christians who are undergoing active persecution.

Our "ANNIE"

2008-04-05T19:29:00.001-07:00

I recently learned that our older daughter, whom I've always known as Anastasia, has changed her name. I'd like to introduce you to.......Annie! A boy at school called her Annie one day in class, and apparently it stuck.

Our "Annie" is natural artist. She has an eye for all things beautiful, as you can see by her latest posting, demonstrating her photography skills.

Great Reads!

2008-03-31T09:52:00.000-07:00

Ever since we adopted Christian from Moscow more than five years ago, I've been captivated by Russia and its sturdy people. I marvel at how they've maintained such dignity through centuries of oppression, even through the darkest days of communism, which targeted artists with particular vengeance.

One of the most impressive things is how average Russians and Ukrainians have been able to keep their artistic heritage alive. I see that right before my eyes, as our daughters are both known at school as being some of the best artists in their class.

I have a much greater appreciation for this part of my family's heritage (sounds strange to say that!) after reading the exhilirating Natasha's Dance, A Cultural History of Russia, by British scholar Orlando Figes. This is a big book, but don't be put off by that. It's highly readable with lots of chapter breaks and the pace is brisk. A warning though: reading this book is likely to transform you into a Russophile if you weren't already!

While you're at Amazon, go ahead and order this inspirational little book. My Beloved Russia is the testimony of a young man growing up as a promising scientist and a pawn in the Soviet system. After becoming a Christian, Dimitry Mustafin becomes an underground evangelist at great risk to himself and his family.

It's a fast read, and the translation is on a middle school reading level, so it is perfect for our adopted teenagers. It would be a great read-aloud book for the whole family. And if your faith needs it, it is sure to give you a kick in the pants!

Our "GallaGirl"

2008-03-28T16:19:00.000-07:00

Our Galyna is a little locomotive who puts all our parenting skills to the test! Yet she's also brought so much positive energy and creativity into our family as well. One day she decided that she wanted a new purse, so she just sat down and started making one!

She says she doesn't like her "G" purse very much, but I know this will become a treasured family keepsake. It also provided me with one of those special moments when I was able to appreciate our daughter's gifts, as opposed to complaining about how little education they received in Ukraine, etc.

Galyna recently prepared family dinner all by herself, with just a little coaching from mom.

On the menu was her favorite...

Galla-Chops - seasoned with flour, bread crumbs and pepper. They were a smash hit!

Of course just about no dinner around our house would be complete without our staple -- instant mashed pototoes. We go through at least two jumbo size boxes a week! (Dana recommends a very dry Chardonnay to top off this scrumptious combination!)

Christ Is Risen!

2008-03-23T16:19:00.000-07:00

"The Man in Christ rose again: not only the God. That is the whole point." (C.S. Lewis)

What joy it was to celebrate Easter as a family today! One year ago we were on pins and needles, praying for some good news to come from the SDA in Kiev. For all of you who are now agonizing through some stage of the "process," I hope this shot gives you hope.

The Agony

2008-03-21T08:07:00.000-07:00

Philosophers have measured mountains,Fathomed the depths of seas, of states, and kings,Walked with a staff to heaven, and traced fountains: But there are two vast, spacious thingsThe which to measure it doth more behoove:Yet few there are that sound them: Sin and Love.

Who would know Sin, let him repairUnto Mount Olivet; there shall he seeA man so wrung with pains that all his hair, His skin, his garments bloody be.Sin is that press and vice, that forceth painTo hunt his cruel food through every vein.

Who knows not Love, let him assayAnd taste that juice, which on the cross a pikeDid set again abroach; then let him say If ever he did taste the like.Love is that liquor sweet and most divineWhich my God feels as blood; but I, as wine.

George Herbert (1639)

Deciding to Home School

2008-03-14T08:56:00.000-07:00

As I learned since beginning the older child adoption plunge more than two years ago, undoubtedly the biggest and hardest decision parents make upon returning home is school. For a number of reasons, we've decided to become a home school family when the next school year begins.

More emotional energy has gone into this that I ever anticipated, mostly because we love the Christian school that the girls have attended this year. They've been surrounded by the most loving, caring and competent teachers and staff we could ever have dreamed of. It has been an ideal first year as the girls have immersed themselves in their new language and have been in a safe and welcoming learning environment.

But the plain truth is, we're exhausted. We spend over an hour a day commuting to and from school and it occured to us that we are already "after-schooling" anyway. Frequently, we're up late at night doing homework.

Home schooling will allow us to give the girls the individual attention they desperately require. In Anastasia's case, she turns 18 in October, and currently she is enrolled in both 8th and 9th grade classes. We've decided to concentrate on Language Arts this summer, and then prepare her to take the GED sometime in 2009. She will then be eligible to enroll in community college.
She is a very hard worker and we are confident that this is a wise plan for her.

Galyna has been under tremendous pressure to keep pace with a rigorous sixth grade curriculum and we don't want her confidence to erode. She's thrived socially, so she's not very happy about it, but home schoolers in our area have an abundance of opportunities for sports, music and other extra-curricular activities.

Of course this brings up the biggie -- what about socialization? The home school parents we've talked to say it's a total non-issue. See this article for an excellent refutation to the oft-heard criticism of home schoolers being unsocialized.

Meanwhile, Christian is totally psyched. His love of learning keeps us all on our toes and Dana and I thrilled about having the privilege of being able to teach him full time. Anastasia has already starting teaching him the Russian alphabet!

We may be crazy by diving in with all three of our children. This is indeed a leap of faith, but we've been taking alot of those lately, and so far, so good!

Larry Norman 1947-2008

2008-03-04T18:01:00.002-08:00

I've been so saddened this week after learning of the death of Larry Norman. I was a confused teenager in the late 1970's, already living self destructively and most likely headed for an early death.

I'm not sure when I first heard his music, but I'll never forget the way it made me feel to hear Norman sing with such grit and honesty about life's struggles. But his music always pointed to the hope he had in Christ and as an alienated young man feeling like an outcast, the hope I heard about from Norman was my lifeline, and it still is.

Please do yourself a favor and watch this 2006 performance of "Let The Rain Fall Down."

I thought I was a worthless servant

I didn't know I was your son

and I didn't know you had forgiveness for

everything that I had done

Praise God for my brother in heaven, Larry Norman

Gittin Sum Culture

2008-03-03T14:37:00.000-08:00

I often say that I grew up on the redneck side of a redneck city. But this Houston, Texas native has been trying get some culture lately. One of the things all of our adopted children can be proud of is the rich artistic heritage of Russia and Ukraine.

Thus, I forked out $120 to buy tickets to take my lovely daughters to the Virginia Opera's first-ever production of a Russian Opera. Tchaikovsky's Eugene Onegin was spectacular, at least to my untrained eyes and ears.

But the enduring memory for me will undoubtedly will be the observation made by Galyna during intermission. "So, how do you like the opera?" I asked. "It's okay," shrugged Galyna, "but I don't like all the singing."

That quote goes down in the Hall of Fame category. Other adoptive parents know what I mean!

Not to be deterred by my quest to bring high culture into our home, Nastia began her piano lessons with Olga, a lovely Russian woman who hails from Nizhyni Novgorod and moved to Richmond last summer to live with her daughter and grandchildren. Olga was all business in introducing Nastia to her new hobby. Nastia is a very hard worker and I've got a feeling that she is beginning something very special.

Avoiding the Poor House

2008-02-12T08:40:00.000-08:00

As stupid as it sounds, I just didn't realize how much girls eat! It didn't take long to realize that having two teenage daughters exposed our budgeting defects in a frightening way. With a family of three, we had been able to pretty much wing it when it came to grocery shopping, meal planning, etc. Something had to change.

This book has been a Godsend! Dana and I are reading it together and it has already made a huge difference in getting our spending under control. The chapter on how to grocery shop is revolutionary. It's all common sense stuff, but the degree to which we had become automated mass consumers, wasting huge percentages of our God-given resources, is astonishing. I don't exaggerate in saying this is the most important book I've ever purchased.

I've been so convicted lately in grasping the fact that we are teaching our children how to live, and chances are very high that they will make decisions about their lifestyles based on what they see their parents do.

Thus, I've taken to teaching Christian some vital life skills! He doesn't care if his clothes come from the thrift store. No sense on spending 15 dollars on a pair of pajamas anyway because he refuses to wear a matching top and bottom!

And, he has no idea that I traded his old plastic slide and toddler bed for his new/old clothes! We're also trying to nurture his interest in non-electronic forms of recreation. Becoming slaves to the whole video and computer entertainment world comes with a price to pay in more ways than one.

At the seven month mark, we are a family. Nearly all of the strangeness has gone. It feels almost natural, and now that we're getting a grip on the financial shock of clothing, feeding, medicating and educating two teenagers, we are confident going forward. Dana's already talking about another adoption!

Maybe She Has A Point?

2008-01-31T12:16:00.000-08:00

I knew something was up when I heard Galyna laughing hysterically downstairs. She was treating our 13 year old cat "Champ" to a ride on my office chair, spinning him around like a top:

Dad: Galyna....Don't do that! Champy is too old and I don't think he's enjoying it."

Galyna: "Sometimes old people need doing for himself fun!"

Good Movies

2008-01-26T12:34:00.000-08:00

It didn't take long to figure out that our daughter's did not learn much about history at the orphanage and much to their father's dismay, they showed no enthusiasm for my attempts to engage them about their own country's history, or any other historical topic. But they love movies, and we've seen some outstanding films portraying important moments in the 20th century, and this has been an effective means of getting them excited about history.

Here are three favorites:

Sophie Scholl is one of the powerful movies I've ever seen. It is the true story of a college-age German woman who demonstrates stunning moral courage in standing up to the Nazis. The end of movie somberly demonstates her Christian faith.

The story of the Rwandan genocide is something I've only been learning about in the past year. Like many Westerners, I had known something terrible happened somewhere in Africa in 1994, but I'm ashamed to say that it didn't have much effect. I've seen three movies that have awakened me to this modern holocaust and in my mind, Beyond the Gates is the best. The great John Hurt gives a memorable and believable portrayal of a Priest ministering to a group of doomed refugees.

Our daughters are one-quarter Jewish and they had never heard about the Holocaust! This 1970's movie stars Patricia Neal as the heroic Corrie Ten Boom and it has stood the test of time well. The Hiding Place is beautifully acted and haunting. I liked it particularly because it shows how Ten Boom faced a crisis of faith in unimaginably horrific circumstances. It is long, but gripping throughout.

Music Recommendation

2008-01-23T09:10:00.000-08:00

We spend alot of time in the mini-van and until now, I thought it was impossible to keep everyone happy with music or books-on-tape selections.

Alas, I've made a wondrous discovery! It was risky given their general lack of enthusiasm for classical music, but I had read a good review of the Classical Kids CD series, and I grabbed Vivaldi's Ring of Mystery to sample.

The result is that it is a smash hit! - all three of our children, ages 6, 14, and 17 love it! They want to hear it every time they get in the car, and the bonus is, it is so well produced that I really like it too.

It's not your standard "teach your kids classical music" fare. Vivaldi's music is weaved throughout a story about a young orphan girl, who lives with other orphans at a school where all the children play instruments.

The story is fictional, but it drops in nuggets of truth and presents classical music in a unique and compelling way. This is something I can safely say is a good investment, and recommend highly. You can get the entire series on amazon for $35.

You Cannot Do Otherwise

2008-01-20T15:29:00.000-08:00

On occasion I receive private emails from prospective parents at various stages of the Ukraine adoption process. It's always amusing and humbling that someone would seek my advice, but I love having an opportunity to share our experience and hope with other families. Most everyone is experiencing some degree of fear - everything from the home study (no big deal), driving in Ukraine (very scary!) or dealing with hurting children.

It took us 18 months from the beginning to the end of our "process" and we faced much fear. But I was continually inspired and encouraged by all the great adoption blogs, especially those who were in Ukraine. At times I thought we would never get there and back, and the anxiety of actually making it all happen was overwhelming.

I think this why you see so many of us writing about our faith. We realize that we can only do so much. The results and timing are entirely in God's hands. But sometimes we forget that and are vulnerable to discouragement along the way. So, for anyone who is getting jittery, let me suggest that you do yourself a favor and read the brilliant biography of John Adams, by David McCullough.

I live in the land of Patrick Henry, Thomas Jefferson and George Washington, but after reading this magnificent account of our second President, Adams takes a backseat to none, and is arguably the cream of the crop. Certainly, none of the other luminaries of the American Revolution shared Adams' devout Christian faith. He had never sailed on a sea-going ship before, but with unbelievable courage, he accepted an assignment for a dangerous transatlantic diplomatic mission to France in the middle of the war, with his ten year old son! McCullough writes:

"He was embarking on a 3,000 mile voyage on the North Atlantic in its most treacherous season...Adams was leaving his wife, children, friends, his home, his livelihood, everything he loved. He was risking his life and that of his small son, risking capture and who knew what horrors and indignities as a prisoner. At age forty-two he was bound for an unimaginably distant world apart, with very little idea of what was in store and every cause to be extremely apprehensive. But with his overriding sense of duty, his need to serve, his ambition, and as a patriot fiercely committed to the fight for independence, he could not have done otherwise."

Indeed the voyage nearly killed everyone on board, but Adams and young John Quincy made it and went on to turn the tide of our nation's future. When I read the above words I thought of how adoptive parents feel likewise. Despite all the insanity one goes through by choosing to adopt in wild and wonderful Ukraine, we could not have done otherwise!

Today in church, we were reminded of the words of Psalm 139:16: "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." As our pastor put it, God ordains our birth and death. It is all in His hands and we no longer have to be overwhelmed by our anxiety over what could go wrong. In fact, we can live courageously because our life is not our own!

I am grateful to all you who've written me heartfelt messages. Many of you prayed for us during our seven week adventure, and I am happy to return the favor as you step out in faith - you can not do otherwise.

Adopted By God

2008-01-16T15:11:00.000-08:00

A young man in our church who is a first year seminarian at Covenant Theological Seminary surprised me at Christmas by giving me a book by one of his professors titled "Adopted by God."

Jeremy has always taken a great interest in our adoption drama, and it was especially touching that he wanted me to have a book emphasizing a Biblical teaching that hits so close to home, as all three of our children are adopted.

Some of this book was very hard to get through, as Peterson intersperses stories from adults who were betrayed by their earthly fathers. Barbara writes:

I remember the day my dad left. He knelt and hugged me and cried. The skimpy dress of a five year old girl could not protect me from the chill that gathered around my arms and legs. The scratchy, tickly whiskers - would I feel them no more? The arms that felt so safe - would they be gone forever?

As I read this I thought about our girls and the father who abandoned them, but also about the hurt and pain of my childhood, and it occured to me that this is something I suspect many adoptive parents can relate to. What kind of people are attracted to bring a hurting child into their homes? Undoubtedly, adoptive parents are people with big hearts, but I think in many cases, we are also people who had difficult childhoods. It is no coincidence that Dana and I both came from abusive, alcoholic families and it's no surprise that we've brought two teenage girls into our family who came from far worse situations than ours. From the absolute wreckage of our past, God has redeemed us and equipped us to enter into the lives of others who've experienced brokenness.

Our Father poured His grace and mercy out on us and made us His children. It took me a long time to apprehend this, but because I've been adopted too, I don't have to regret the past:

When the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law, to redeem those under the law, that we might receive the full
rights of sons." (Gal. 4:4-5)
Yes, we are His children, but there's a part of this that we would rather avoid, as Peterson warns:

This means that sharing in Christ's sufferings are a normal part ofthe Christian life. It comes with the territory. Belonging to Christ involves sharing in all that is his, including suffering now and glory later.

I don't like to hear this. I'm ready for things to start getting easier, but I write this on a day when Dana and I are struggling with one of our children and faced with some big decisions. So when I read that we share in Christ's sufferings, I am actually encouraged. We have a worldwide family (much of which is being actively persecuted) called the church that carries our burdens with us, and most importantly, a brother who knows our struggles and intercedes to the Father on our behalf.

Reading this book has been difficult, but it's also been a great blessing as I learn more about what it means to be an adoptive father and an adopted son of God.

Thanks Jeremy!

Six Months!

2008-01-13T14:52:00.000-08:00

Oh my!.....My daughter Anastasia has just informed me that today is the six month anniversary of our Virginia homecoming! She has updated her blog with some thoughts on school, homework and a beautiful Psalm she composed for her Bible class!

Mountain Men

2008-01-13T09:53:00.000-08:00

I had to share some images of an exhilirating experience I had this weekend! A couple of men in our church are avid hikers and I joined them on a day trip to Shenandoah National Forest for a hike up Stony Man Mountain. It was a spectacular day, made all the more memorable by a special surprise (read on!).

Nothing like taking in views such as this to attack the mid winter doldrums!

"Behold how good and how pleasant it is

for brethren to dwell together in unity."

Mark Youndt (left), Bryce Allison and me.

During lunch Mark led us in singing "Rock of Ages." He's a retired pastor who can discuss any and every topic that comes up, and we covered alot of ground on this trip!

Bryce is lured to highlands by his ancestry. He's a Scotsman and therefore known as the Scottish Mountain Goat.

As we progressed, I casually mentioned how curious it was that we hadn't seen any wildlife...

When suddenly, this enormous doe crossed our trail. I estimated she would tip the scales at 170 pounds or more. The really incredible thing is, she just looked right back at us and went on about her business, not the least bit concerned by our presence.

We continued on our merry way for a couple of minutes, and were stopped dead in our tracks by a sight that took my breath away.....

MR. MAC DADDY MONSTER BUCK! (how bout this bad boy Ashley?) It was easily the biggest buck I've ever seen up close. He had a perfect 10-point rack, and was huge -- probably close to 200 pounds, and just like the doe, he didn't run! The deer in Shenandoah National Forest aren't hunted, so they're not afraid of people and we stood there, paralyzed with Buck Fever. Luckily, Bryce had the presence of mind to take some pics. This was the icing on the cake to an already magnificent day, thanks be to God.

Rats Rule!

2008-01-10T09:12:00.000-08:00

"The cat will lie down with the rat."

Isaiah 65:25 (my paraphrase)

After being disparaged on Leslie's blog, :) I felt obliged to come to the defense of the rats. They are awesome pets! Admittedly, I felt much the same as Leslie and probably most everyone, but as we considered granting Galyna's wish for a small pet, we kept hearing the same thing over and over from people at the pet stores: Rats are the best. As you can see in this shot, everything about these amazing creatures come as huge surprise. Our cats are actually afraid of them!

Aren't they lovely? Their home is a cage of course, but they run around Galyna's room all the time and are very playful and fun. Why are rats the best? For starters, they are highly intelligent, and it doesn't take long to appreciate this. The rat propaganda even says they can learn tricks and obey commands. We haven't gotten that far, but I can say that Ashley and Gabriella have distinctive personalites, and they do seem to recognize you - I'm not kidding! I've never seen a child who loves animals as much as Galyna. Of course she wants a dog (and a horse!), but the rats have been a great learning experience, as she has responsibility to feed them and clean their cage regularly. The rats have been great practice for Galyna and Christian, who has announced that he would like his own pair!

When I asked Galyna a few days ago why Gabriella was not allowed out of her cage, she said, "Gabriella has conz-a-quence" - something Galyna is quite familiar with!

Just look at that adorable face! Now Leslie, don't you feel bad? Oh, I forgot to mention, the best part is that rats don't stink nearly as bad as hamsters or gerbils. If you clean the cage once a week, you don't smell em at all.

The Amazing Fumias

2008-01-08T20:09:00.000-08:00

For the longest time, she was just "Ashley" who always left uplifting comments on our blog. Aside from knowing that she is in the process of adopting a fine young man I had met in Odessa, I figured she was another adoptive parent who was pretty much like me.

Oh my, was I wrong! It is such a privilege to learn about the lives of other adoptive families and I just read about the remarkable Fumia family of Mississippi. Ashley and her husband J.C. are in the process of raising money for their adoption. You must go and read the entire post on Ashley's blog, but here's an excerpt:

I first would like to tell you how God has blessed us. He has blessed us in so many ways, but I'd like to tell you about this one. As most of you know, we like to live off the land. We grow our vegetables and hunt for our meat. For the non-hunters out there you may not appreciate this but for those of you that are, you will certainly know where we are coming from. This is our source of food and how we live. We do not hunt for sport. It is strictly to feed our family.

How we honor God with our lifestyle is a question I've been wrestling with lately, and I am grateful to the Fumias for their awesome demonstration of simple, abundant living. As Dana and I consider making some radical changes, the Fumias inspire. We can't all go out and hunt for our own food, but I think all of us have much to learn from this family.

In fact, the rest of the country could stand to learn alot from Mississippians in general. Yep, the poorest state in the nation is also the most giving of all states when it comes to per-capita charitable donations! (In case you were wondering, the wealthy New England states are the worst....hmmm).

Hooray for Grisha, that he will live in the great state of Mississippi and be part of a family that brings great glory to God!

Why Not Boys?

2008-01-06T10:41:00.000-08:00

One of the hardest things about the Ukrainian adoption experience is you spend alot of time around your adopted children's friends and you leave them behind knowing most will never be adopted, especially in the case of boys. This is unfortunate.

Why is it that 80 percent of adoptions are of girls? My theory is that, in most cases, the mom is the one pushing the adoption, and moms are more likely to want a girl. Also, the conventional wisdom is that boys are more trouble and a much greater risk. Let's face it, we get a bum rap.

But that is a serious misperception according to Vinny Rosini of Frontier Horizon. I will always grateful to him for being honest about this. Vinny says that by far, the most difficult category is post-pubescent girls. Without a doubt, they have the most post adoption problems. Despite this, you see them being adopted all the time, while few families ever consider adopting an older boy.

We saw Volva almost every day, and it hurt so much to see his precious smile, knowing that he was losing hope of finding a family. I'd love to see him get adopted, and am confident he would thrive. The few boys I'm familiar with who've been adopted from Ukraine are doing very well indeed, and I met many in Odessa who I immediately liked and felt would transition well in America.

I'll never forget walking past this group of boys at Orphanage #4. They were just hanging out with nothing to do, and I walked by them with my camera, on my way to an outing with our girls. As we exchanged head nods, I couldn't help imagining what they were thinking. Like, "What's wrong with me....why do you rich Americans only come over here and adopt pretty girls?"

These boys are smart, healthy, talented, and have so much potential. It breaks my heart to think about their bleak futures.

We have been very lucky because our daughters are doing great and we love them dearly. But if we ever go back, I'm going to lobby for a boy. If you are considering adopting an older child and haven't made up your mind, please think about giving one of these boys a chance.

The Forgotten

2008-01-04T14:47:00.000-08:00

The standard of living for Ukrainians is bad enough in the large cities, but it is a shock to see how many of them live in the small, rural villages. I took a trip to a surreal place called Limanskoye last summer and it is not an exaggeration to say that it was life changing. As you can see, they have very hard lives. Hot water is available only at designated times and the typical scenario would have a single mom desperately trying to provide for her children.

In the most remote outposts of Ukraine, our friends Alyona and Slava Puzanov are dedicated to sharing the love of Christ with the poorest families and with special-needs children.

In Alyona's words, here is Leonid's story:

"He is very kind and a hard worker. he finishes the school this year and only God knows where he will go then. He is one of those who was left by his mother and even doesn't know his real parents. He would love to have a family. His right side is paralized but there is no work he would say "NO" to. He loves to help.

Today Slava had a conversation with him, when Leonid asked "Why do parents leave their children? Even the animals take care of their babies!" It brakes your heart when you hear things like that. Please, join us in prayer for the family of this boy."

Alyona and Slava will be moving to Limanskoye in February to minister to these neglected children. I recently received a message from Alyona, asking if I would "spread the word" and let our friends in America know about their work. If you are interested in learning more about this vital outreach, you can contact Alyona at: alyona_m@hotmail.com

See their excellent blog at: http://heritageodessakids.blogspot.com/

Vasya receives a Christmas gift

The walls of this gutted Presbyterian Church on the grounds of the orphanage remain, decades after being destroyed by the Communists. Thanks to people like Slava and Alyona, the good news that was once heard in this building is being lived out again.

Should Santa Get The Boot?

2007-12-29T13:11:00.000-08:00

Santa Claus came to our house this year, or at least that's what we told our youngest. Is there a problem with this? Christian writer Frederica Mathewes-Green says it's a big problem and that we should give him the boot!

First, it's a big fat lie. What kind of an example are you setting here? How stupid are your kids going to feel when they realize they fell for this? What else of what you taught them are they going to doubt? Your kids should know that your word is always good and that they can rely on it without question every day of their lives.

Second, the Santa myth teaches kids ingratitude. You want your older children never to acknowledge your gifts? Enjoy the idea of never getting a thank-you note or any thoughtfulness in return? Santa-talk is a good way to start them on that path. They learn that goodies just magically appear and don't cost anybody anything. Their role in life is just to open packages and enjoy.

It also teaches greed. We may say piously that we want our children to develop just and generous virtues, but filling them with images of a toy-wielding potentate with a lifetime pass on eToys will knock all that flatter than Kansas.

Read the entire column here.

As much as we focused on the "true meaning of Christmas" this year, I'm sure my six year old son was much more impressed by Santa than the incarnation. I don't want to deprive him of these cherished childhood memories, but I'm inclined to rethink Santa in the years ahead.

What do you think?

In With The New!

2007-12-28T19:23:00.000-08:00

Building our family for the past six months has been such a blur that we've seldom taken the time to get out and enjoy the natural beauty of our hometown. The James River runs right through the middle of Richmond and features what has to be one of the premiere urban retreats in the country.

The River's most visited destination is Belle Isle, which is accessed by a suspension bridge. In a matter of minutes, you can leave all the hustle and bustle behind, and be transported to a place of rare peace, where the only sound you hear are the rapids rushing through the rocks.

This island was an open-air prison in the Civil War, where thousands of Union prisoners of war died of disease, exposure and starvation. Visiting here is always a moving experience.

As I watched our children enjoying the beauty of God's creation, it occured to me how important it is to spend time outdoors as a family. Is it any wonder that the more urbanized our culture becomes, and the more time we spend indoors, the more agnostic we become?

I read about a fascinating study where kids with ADHD were treated by simply spending time outdoors and the results were overwhelmingly positive in reducing ADHD symptoms. I am diagnosed with ADHD myself and have found that outdoor therapy works wonders, even if it's just taking a walk. CS Lewis and John Adams were both big believers in daily walks, and I mean long ones! Lewis prayed every day during his "peregrinations." I just don't think God intended for us to sit in front of computer screens and TV's all day. One of my goals for the New Year will be more outdoor activities with my children. And the best part is, it's free!

I've never seen our daughters happier. Anastasia is the only shy person in our family, but she is asserting herself as the conscientious, older daughter.

It's hard to believe that this is the same girl who rode in the baby seat of the grocery cart last summer! Galyna can still be a bit rowdy at times, but she is fast becoming a lovely young lady.

I am most grateful for my beautiful, amazing wife. Dana is the most "can-do" person I've ever met. She meets every challenge with optimism and faithful perseverance.

We've got some big decisions ahead of us, but as I think about 2008, I do so with a profound sense of gratitude and hopefulness. Thanks to all of you who've given us so much encouragement during this unforgettable year. May God pour out his love and mercy on you in the New Year.

An Unforgettable Christmas

2007-12-28T18:50:00.000-08:00

Our first Christmas together as a family was just about perfect. Our children all exchanged meaningful gifts with each other and demonstrated a loving and grateful spirit.

Anastasia knitted beautiful scarfs for the whole family!

I'll never forget the look on Christian's face when he saw that Santa had granted his request for a Polar Express electric train!

This has been a wonderful week with many sweet moments shared by all. We give thanks to God for every blessing.

Christmas At Home

2007-12-20T16:36:00.000-08:00

One of the things I love about our daughters, and that we hope to preserve, is how content they are with simple things. They will sit down and draw, paint, or knit for hours. And although these shots capture them watching a movie, they don't have to be entertained. As we approach the six month mark of our time together as a family, it's easy to focus on how frenetic our lives have become. But as I saw them sitting by the fire with their mom, enjoying a movie while knitting Christmas gifts, I realized how important it is to give thanks for how good things are.

We are all on vacation now, and anticipating Christmas like never before. The girls love Christmas music and we play it throughout the day. By the way, our favorites are Moya Brennan's "An Irish Christmas," and Aimee Mann's "One More Drifter In The Snow."

Brennan's rendition of Christina Rosetti's poem "In The Bleak Midwinter" has to be one of the most sublime things I've ever heard. The entire disc captures the devotional spirit of Christmas perfectly and beautifully, while Mann's CD is more playful at times, but also quite soulful.

And, I must be honest and mention that "Christmas With The Chipmunks" is also a household favorite, but be careful, because if heard more than three times in one day, it can lead to insanity!

Christian is so amped up, he can hardly go to sleep at night. Rumor has it that Santa is considering a Polar Express electric train set, which has father and son counting the days!

Vika Comes Home!

2007-12-19T08:54:00.000-08:00

Vika has a family! This shot with our Anastasia was taken Monday night, just an hour or so after Vika made her triumphant arrival at Washington Dulles Airport. Vika had been to America on two Frontier Horizon hosting trips in recent years, but she had aged out of the orphanage and was too old to be adopted. The odds of her ever being able to get a visa to study English were not good, but thanks to the relentless efforts of Frontier Horizon, and Vika's new family, her Christmas wish has come true!

Vika and her new mom (for all practical purposes). Ann is a wonderful lady, who I began corresponding with via email two years ago, as we both prepared to host orphans from Ukraine. She and her husband have four children already (one adopted from Ukraine), so Vika joins a very big family with a very big heart. She will attend community college ESL courses two days per week, and spend time with Ann at her veterinarian office the rest of the time. So, she will be learning some very valuable skills while learning English. What a joyful Christmas story this is!

This is also a good opportunity to mention what a special person Ann has been to our family. While we were exchanging emails two years ago, I mentioned to her how much I was struggling with the heartbreaking reality that it was time to say goodbye to our beloved, 14 year old Golden Retriever. Reilly's hips were shot, he was having seizures, and I was nursing him around the clock. I knew it was past time to put him down, but just did not have the courage to do it. Ann revealed to me that she was a vet. She explained what he was going through, and it was her loving encouragement that finally gave me the strength to give him a peaceful, gentle, and merciful end.

So, welcome Vika, and God Bless you Ann!

About Christmas Cards

2007-12-16T11:13:00.000-08:00

A recent posting on the excellent blog of Touchstone Magazine has generated some lively discussion in our home. On the subject of Christmas cards, Marci Segelstein writes:

"In a few days, my mantlepiece will be filled, not with reminders of the gospel story of Jesus’s birth, but with professional photos of children or entire families adorning cards with inoffensive messages like “Peace and Joy.” In my neck of the woods, there seems to be a little competition going for whose children can pose the best for these annual mailings. Frankly, I don’t care. And I have a little reality check for the church-going believers out there who send these photo cards: Christmas isn’t about your lovely, smiling children or your beautifully posed family. It’s about the Son of God taking human form to save your souls. Maybe putting Christ back into Christmas starts at home."

OUCH! As you can see, our card features our "lovely, smiling children." But does she make an important point? Christians complain every year about how secularized the Christmas season has become, but are we not contributing to it by focusing on ourselves?

You can read the entire post here. Your thoughts?

A Lifeline for Teenage Orphans

2007-12-16T10:22:00.000-08:00

We just received a new calendar from Universal Aid for Children, featuring some beautiful and heartbreaking art by two young ladies who have aged out of the orphanage system in Ukraine.

The adoption blogworld celebrates the miracle of our adoptions, and anticipates coming adoptions, but the sad fact is that statistically, very few of Ukraine's 100-thousand orphans will be adopted, and that doesn't count the thousands of "street kids."

The UAC's Orphaned Teen Scholarship Program is a lifeline for dozens of children who are forced to leave the orphanage. Please visit their website to learn more.

The Myth Of Safety and Security

2007-12-09T10:21:00.001-08:00

"Our basis for trust is not in safety."

Dr. Jennifer Myhre

The Mhyre family in Bundibugyo, Uganda

I have begun a correspondence with a prospective parent, who is considering adopting an older child from Ukraine. She says, "I find I'm so selfish and want things my own, comfortable way."

Her admission is one most all of us can relate to, and addresses an issue that many Christians are coming to terms with. Why aren't Bible believing Christians doing more for God's most neglected children? This was brought home to me recently when our family attended a concert by Matthew Smith, the young Nashville-based singer/songwriter who is helping produce the amazing Indelible Grace albums.

Smith made a pitch for Compassion International, appealing to a crowd of around 500 to support a vital mission work that sponsors poverty stricken children. The cost is $32 per month and he noted that for most of us that could be accomplished by switching from latte to drip coffee!

A grand total of two people stepped forward to help, and the Compassion volunteer said that two was typical for an event this size. Their booth was set up right next to the CD and T-shirt booth, where hundreds of dollars worth of merchandise was being sold to Christians waiting in long lines.

I am in no position to judge, as I am as selfish as they come. I could sponsor several children monthly on my amazon.com and Starbucks habit alone! But I had to write something because I believe the Holy Spirit has been convicting me in profound ways recently.

Actually, it started two-and-a-half years ago when I attended a Mercy Ministries conference of our denomination. I raised my hand to question a speaker who was talking about inner city ministry. I agreed that it was an admirable thing to actually live in the city and minister relationally to the poor, but confessed that the safety of my family would prevent me from doing it right now.

His answer haunts me to this day: "Our job is not to protect our children. Our job is raise them in the admonition of Christ."

I am stunned by the courage I see from some Christians who are doing exactly that. I came across some of them in Ukraine, and today in church, we learned of a married missionary couple that is facing a terrible trial in a small Ugandan village where a deadly outbreak of the E-Bola virus has already claimed 26 lives.

Burying the dead in Uganda

Most of the mission team has been evacuated, but several members of the medical staff have remained and are currently treating infected patients. Scott and Jennifer Myhre, both doctors and the team's leaders, just sent their four children away, but they have decided to risk their lives by staying to treat and minister to those clinging to life.

In the Myhre's blog, Jennifer observes that "our basis for trust in not in safety." But as our pastor pointed out today, safety takes precedence in most of our lives. If you want to have this view challenged radically, John Piper's book Don't Waste Your Life is a very dangerous read. About safety and the Christian life, Piper notes:

"The way I hope to explode the myth of safety and to disenchant you with the mirage of security is simply to go to the Bible and show that it is right to risk for the cause of Christ, and not to is to waste your life."

Until the late 19th century, evangelical Christians led the way in reaching out to the poor, and Piper is one of a growing number of Christ-centered pastors who are challenging the evangelical church to reclaim the Micah mandate to "Do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with God."

The revelation of the prophet Ezekiel regarding the reason for the destruction of the sinful city of Sodom came as a surprise for me. No, sexual sin was not the primary problem:

"Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom: she and her daughters had pride, excess of food and prosperous ease, but did not aid the poor and needy. (Ezekiel 16:49)."

Part of me is satisfied that I've done my part. We've adopted two teenage girls, and are praised frequently for having done so. But the truth is I can not say that we are living sacrificially. We still have "excess of food and prosperous ease" compared to the way 99 percent of the world lives.

I don't know where the Holy Spirit is leading me and my family. But I do know that I do not have to fear my earthly destination, no matter where it may lead. This is a good time of year to rest in the fact that wherever we are going, Jesus has gone before us.

Christmas Blessings

2007-12-07T18:23:00.000-08:00

My recent postings reflect on some of the struggles we've been facing, but as these pictures demonstrate, our daughters are anticipating the Christmas season with much joy. It is shaping up to be a very special one as we celebrate the coming of our Lord and Savior, who has made all this possible, and who more than makes up for all our deficiencies.

It's been a bit rowdy around here the last few days. Christian and Galyna are hilarious together!

From our family to yours, we pray for all God's blessings and a joyful Christmas. Your prayers are needed especially for Oleg and Nataliya, and the Haug family as they complete their adoptions in Ukraine.

Proud To Be An American?

2007-12-04T09:51:00.000-08:00

My daughter had just received her Certificate of U.S. Citizenship, and as we walked down the sidewalk to take this historic photo, I wanted to get a sense of whether she was feeling the magnitude of the moment:

Dad: So, how does it feel to be an American?

Daughter: Okay, but I'm cold....

Dad: Do you see those people (immigrants standing in long line)? They are spending every penny they have to try to get permission to just work in America. Do you know what it means to live in the greatest country in the world?

Daughter: I'm cold.....

Perhaps a visit to the White House would stir up some excitement? I told her that she would remember this day as being special when she brought her grandkids to the same spot fifty years from now. She did manage a smile when I took her picture, but it never ceases to amaze me how ungrateful my daughters can be. From what I've heard from other parents, this is very common. They just don't get it....yet.

Little does she know that her tour of battlegrounds, museums and other historic sites is just beginning! Later on I'll tell her about our family's heroes who fought in all of our nation's conflicts to preserve the way of life she now enjoys.

I hope that some day she will appreciate the fact that her cousin was the first man to make it over the bluffs at Omaha Beach on D-Day, and that her country is the world's oldest democracy, where the principle of personal freedom and individual responsibility still makes America the beacon of hope for millions. If Anastasia wants to, she can walk right up to the gate of the White House and peacefully protest, as thousands of Americans do every year (as compared to Russia).
So, let me say it for her, and for the thousands of other internationally adopted children who now call America home:

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Sibling Hatred

2007-11-28T19:12:00.000-08:00

"The girls" have been apart of our lives now for almost two years. This picture was taken on their first night they visited us during a Christmas hosting trip in 2005. We've always thought of "them" together, but as we've learned in the past four-and-a-half months, they are completely different people with completely different needs and personalities.

We are pleased with the progress they've made, but there have been many surprises and unexpected challenges. The biggest one being the bitterness that has developed between them. They have deep resentment for each other and it makes things very difficult around the house.

We've postponed counseling because of the communication problems, but perhaps it's time to take action because our intervention doesn't seem to be helping much in this department.

Adding to the frustration is that they seem to be incapable of expressing their feelings at more than a surface level. Getting them to answer any sort of open-ended question such as "How do you feel about....." results in a shrug.

I guess this makes sense because they've never had anyone care about how they felt. Certainly they feel something, but they have a hard time identifying it. At first, I thought it was just an issue of them not trusting us with their feelings, but I'm beginning to think that it is much deeper and darker than that.

We love our daughters and are actually enjoying them very much as individuals. But the contempt they have for each other is troubling and only appears to be getting worse.

I pray for wisdom about how to handle this situation.

Anastasia's Almanac and Other Blogs

2007-11-25T16:50:00.000-08:00

Thanks to all who posted comments on my Daughter's blog. We had to change her address and she has reposted everything. She has put up a new post about our family Borscht party at: http://anastasiasalmanac.blogspot.com/

And, if you dont' know about these two families in Odessa right now, do yourself a favor and follow the adventures of The Landrum's and Nataliya and Oleg. They are some of our dearest blog friends and are both adopting older girls. They are excellent bloggers with great stories to tell.

Also, to get a glimpse of what life is like in the very early stages of life at home with two newly adopted daughters (along with three bio kids), check out the O'Hara family blog, who just returned from Odessa a few weeks ago.

Vika's Miracle

2007-11-21T11:23:00.000-08:00

On November 11th, I received this message from my friend Ann Matisse ,who, along with many others, has been trying for months to pull off a miracle:

"Now is the time we could really use your prayers,... raise those hands toward heaven for VIKA!!!"

Today, that prayer was answered, as announced by Ann:

"Vika got her visa. I am so excited! ... Please say a "thank you" prayer for His excellent help."

This was a longshot to say the least. It's not easy to get a student visa for children who've aged out of the orphanage, and many of us were despairing for sweet Vika, who is loved by everyone who knows her, in Ukraine and America.

But when I learned that Vika's cause was being advocated by Ann, along with Vinny Rossini and Larisa Papay of Frontier Horizon, I knew that anything was possible.

Vika will live with the Matisse family in Michigan, and study English at a local community college, where she will work toward the goal of enrolling in courses for credit.

This is such joyful news. After spending so much time around the friends of our adopted children last summer, you are assured of returning home with a heavy heart for the vast majority of these older kids who will never be adopted. Dana and I were alarmed at Vika's appearance last summer, and to see how her vivacious personality had diminished as she spent most of her time on the streets. Larisa said she reminded her of a "stray cat."

Well, Vika will now be under the care of Ann, who happens to be a veterinarian!

Thank you Ann, Vinny and Larisa, and praise God from this blessing flows.

Book Recommendations

2007-11-09T13:05:00.000-08:00

"If you don't read good books, you will read bad ones."

-C.S. Lewis

I finished reading Nicholas and Alexandra several days ago and haven't stopped thinking about it. Much of my reading is devoted to biography and history and this extraordinary story of Russia's last Tsar, World War I, and the Russian Revolution, has to be the finest book in this category I've ever read. It is also one of Dana's favorites, and she rarely reads history.

I studied about the Soviet Union before we adopted Christian from Russia, so I've always been intrigued by its fascinating history, but this book put things in perspective better than anything I've come across.

Robert Massie writes with great respect for the Russian people and with all the flair of a great novelist. I don't think I've ever responded to a book so emotionally as he describes the tragedy surrounding the Romanovs and Russia's descent into the bloodbath of the 20th Century. His prose is plain, but beautiful and I guarantee you won't be disappointed.

I also highly recommend his Pulitzer Prize winning biography of Peter The Great. Even if you are strictly a fiction reader, don't hesitate to check out either of these incredible books. The stories are better than any novelist could dare to imagine. Nothing comes close to the real-life drama of Russian history.

Both of these books are fast paced, supreme reading experiences which will help you better understand the tumultous part of the world where our adopted children are from.

Sensory Integration Disorder

2007-11-07T08:42:00.000-08:00

This is perhaps the most personal thing I've ever posted because it's very hard for me to write about things we struggle with. Because blogging is so public, there are things you just don't talk talk about here. But one of things I love about the adoption blogging community is that it is so encouraging and supportive, and it is in that spirit I am sharing our experience with this baffling topic.

If you are adopting a child from Eastern Europe, I urge you to educate yourself about Sensory Integration Disorder. This is something our precious son has, as do most children who were "cribbed" for long periods of time without nurturning or stimulation of any kind. It is also common to children who were born prematurely and were incubated. I don't think either one of our older adopted children have this problem, as they did not go to the orphanage until age five.

Earlier this year, Christian's Montessori teacher sugggested we have him tested for this. We quickly ordered books she suggested such as The Out of Sync Child, and instantly realized that there was a name for some of Christian's peculiar behavior.

I mention this being so personal because after learning about this, I knew that I had not been the great parent I thought I was. What I thought was disobedience many times was not. He does not like to wear short sleeve shirts, or shorts, even when it's 100 degrees outside. He would much rather sweat.

At six years old, he is still afraid to ride a bicyle, or even sit on his tractor. Instead, he pushes his tractor all over the yard, but if I suggest he rides, he becomes frantic with fear.

He still tries to find ways to stimulate himself, just as he rocked himself in his crib five years ago. The funny position he's in while watching TV is an example of that. There are many, many other symptoms and odd behaviors associated with Sensory Integration Disorder. Please read about it now, even if you feel certain that your adopted child is OK. Christian sees an occupational therapist weekly, and we are much relieved that we finally have some tools to use in helping our sweet boy. Also be advised that this is something many teachers, doctors and therapists are not aware of. It gets misdiagnosed all the time as ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, or even autism.

Also a word to Christian parents who rightly want to raise their children "Biblically." I've read Dobson's book about raising a strong willed child, and Ted Tripp's "Shepherdering A Child's Heart." Both good books, but I must say that I failed my son badly by using the Dobson/Tripp discipline model for Christian for more than four years.

These guys are big on spanking and make a sound Biblical case for it. But spanking a child with Sensory Integration Disorder, who is screaming because he doesn't want to put on a short sleeve shirt is counter productive to say the least. He or she is not being disobedient! Please read about this and you'll understand.

When I learned that many kids with this don't like to wear short sleeves, I cried. I had spanked Christian many times when he refused to wear short sleeves because I thought he was being disobedient. I was wrong and I'm afraid I did much harm. I am a professing Christian believer, but I warn you that you will get alot of unsolicited and bad advice from well meaning Christians on how to discipline your adopted child. My advice is to throw out Dobson and Tripp, and learn about this very real affliction.

We are now moving forward, and optimistic that we can help Christian to thrive in this broken and disordered world. Now that we know about this, we are much better equipped to do that.

Congratulations Slava and Alyona!

2007-11-02T11:50:00.000-07:00

No, these are not Ukrainian movie stars! Slava and Alyona served as our adoption team in Odessa, but soon became our friends and now they are husband and wife. I spent alot of time with this couple and was struck by how much they focused on their ministry together (read about it here). They weren't preoccupied with buying a big house or moving up in their careers, but with how much they could help the poor children of a small town near Odessa. We pray for all God's blessings upon their ministry and marriage.

We had the privilege of getting to know most of the amazing Puzanov family and wish we could've been there to celebrate with them! So Tolik, who's the young lady?

Halloween

2007-11-01T12:37:00.000-07:00

Cat Woman and Captian Hook on the loose!

Happy Birthday Anastasia!

2007-10-31T10:51:00.000-07:00

Our sweet Anastasia is 17 years old! We've now celebrated all three of our children's October birthdays. Nastia's having some friends from school come over on Friday for a bigger party, but last night we had our family celebration.

Nastia sees the world through the eyes of an artist. Lately I've been teaching her the art of how to loiter in a bookstore, and recently she sat down at Barnes & Noble and leafed all the way through this big book about Leonardo da Vinci.

She's also got a great eye for photography. I've encouraged her to start up her own blog now that she has a new digital camera! Happy Birthday Sweetheart....we love you!

Happy Birthday Christian Peter!

2007-10-12T12:48:00.000-07:00

Today our beautiful son is six years old. Christian Peter came into our lives five years ago, when he was adopted from a small town outside Moscow, Russia. The joy that our "little man" has brought into our lives is beyond description. He is truly the funniest child I've ever seen and he never ceases to amaze us with his relentless curiousity and love of learning.

Each year on his birthday, I always pray for and give thanks to God for the woman who chose to give him life. I wish I could let her know how grateful we are, and I pray that God will pour his love and mercy out on her.

Not only have we had the privilege of being Christian's parents, it was the gift of his adoption that has transformed the way we see our lives.

Today we know that we are an adoptive family because this is what God has intended for us all along. Christian knows he is a beloved child of God and he has a wonderful way of demonstrating that love to all the special people in his life, such as "Papa Herb."

Happy Birthday Galyna!

2007-10-08T12:36:00.000-07:00

It's so hard to believe that it's been almost two years since little Galyna first came to visit us for Christmas in 2005. She was teeny-tiny, and looked like she was perhaps eight or nine years old. This weekend, we celebrated her 14th birthday! She is a beautiful girl who loves life and has embraced her new country. Before the party she asked me not to speak any Russian as she now wants her identity to be American. We've been home less than three months and this young lady is thriving.

I've never seen a child who loves animals more than Galyna. She's been asking for a dog since day one, but we let her know early on that adding a dog to the mix would just be too much for our family right now. So......

Hello rats!!! One of Galyna's teachers gave a hearty endorsement to pet rats and I was surprised to learn from pet store employees that rats make great pets. They are the most intelligent of all small pets and easy to take care of. Did you know that rats can learn tricks and even remember their names? Galyna was ecstatic! She named her new pets Ashley and Gabriella.

Seven of her classmates helped her celebrate her first American birthday and they had a blast!

Ellen kept us laughing all night long!

Jailene and Anna provided impromptu song and dance
Galyna won't forget this Birthday!

We are so grateful for the kind of young women who've befriended our daughters. Katrina and Margaret helped make this a very special weekend.

Cate is hilarious and quite talented as she writes and sings her own songs!

Galyna doing some High School Musical moves

Our 14 year old daughter with Chris and Deborah Winans.

Happy Birthday sweetheart...We love you!

The Blessing of Adoption

2007-09-29T08:11:00.000-07:00

These pictures are a beautiful witness to the blessing of adoption. Banner Christian School recently held a pep rally and I've never seen Anastasia smile so much. I had to fight back the tears because I couldn't help but thinking about her life in Ukraine, where there was little to smile about.

When you see pictures taken of her at the orphanage, it's almost as if she didn't even know how to smile. This is my favorite shot of her previous life. Everyone we talked to in Odessa told us that Nastia spent most of her free time in the art room, putting her heart and soul into creating beautiful works of art. Art remains her passion, but today she enjoys so much more.

Katrina is a vivacious young lady who has reached out to both of our daughters.

Mr. Tom Burkett is not only the headmaster, he's also the varsity volleyball coach and very much in the "old school" tradition. Banner Bearcat volleyball is not for the faint of heart as "Mr. B" runs a brutally tough practice. He's a demanding coach who prefers not to lose, but his off-court demeanor is gentle and soft-spoken. He got a kick out of posing here with Nastia. Afterwards he asked, "Did she smile?"

Nastia and her teammates should compete for the conference volleyball championship. They've been a bit inconsistent lately, but should be ready by tournament time to be a contender. This Christian volleyball is ferocious competition and we love the games. Go BearCats!!!

Galyna with her best friend Anna Winans. Anna is the youngest of three children in an extraordinary missionary family, who recently returned from a five year mission to Japan. Anna's mother grew up in Saigon during the Vietnam war. Their family's incredible story is told in the memoir of Anna's grandfather Sam James. They never left until the fall of Saigon. It is a miracle they didn't become martyrs for Christ. This is an example of how adoption has blessed our entire family as we've all become good friends with the Winans family.

"Let me hear joy and gladness;

let the bones that you have broken rejoice."

The Ukrainian Famine

2007-09-06T09:06:00.000-07:00

For those families adopting older children, please make a visit to this somber memorial a priority. A disappointingly high percentage of Russian speaking people in Ukraine remain in a state of shameful denial about the meaning of this monument in Kyiv. It is dedicated to the victims of the forced Ukrainian Famine, which took place between 1932-34, resulting in the starvation death of 5-to-7 million innocent Ukrainians. Some estimates go as high as ten million.

Thanks to the Ukrianian Orthodox Church under the jurisdiction of the Kyiv Patriarch, the truth is finally being told. The monument is located next to the beautiful St. Michael's Monastery. Make sure to take time to read the story about the famine on the wall behind. Shockingly, the Orthodox Church under the jurisdiction of the Moscow Patriarch still officially denies the famine. Just inside the entrance to the church, an excellent self-guided tour carefully documents how the communist regime attempted to wipe out Christianity in the Soviet Union.

It was all orchestrated by Stalin, which makes one wonder why you see this monster's image being peddled by Ukrainian street vendors today. Perhaps even more amazingly, tourists actually buy Stalin matrushka dolls! Imagine going to Berlin and seeing Hitler commercialized in this manner. But Russia, and many of the former Soviet states have not undergone the same kind of reckoning that Germany has. When we adopted our son five years ago in Moscow, a poll had just been conducted that revealed half of the Russian population still regards Stalin as a hero for prevailing in World War II. The truth is that the Russians courageously outfought the Germans despite Stalin's poor leadership.

Especially for those adopting in Odessa, or other regions in the East and Southern part of Ukraine, Soviet and Communist nostalgia lingers. My daughters had never been taught about the famine at the orphanage school, so I gave them an assignment to pay a visit to the famine monument. History records that the totalitarian regime that talked about creating a "classless society," butchered 20 million of its own citizens, making Soviet Communism the bloodiest ideology the world has ever known. It is painfully true that many Ukrainians are suffering even more in the post Soviet world, but it is not because free market economics has been tried and failed. It has never been tried. Ukraine is being strangled by corruption and none of the citizens I spoke to have any faith in the rule of law. So it's understandable that a percentage of the population would go back to totalitarian control of their lives in exchange for the suffering they're now facing. But the events of the 20th century makes clear that communist countries led the way in slaughtering and imprisoning its own people, and nowhere was the persecution more severe than in Ukraine. Perhaps that is why so much denial remains?

Not far from the Famine Monument is this ghastly example of "socialist realist" art. "The Friendship of the Nations" monument was constructed by the Soviets in the early 1950's to pay tribute to the "historic bond of the Russian and Ukrainian people."

Interestingly, the "Friendship of the Nations" monument doesn't mention the fact that millions of Ukrainians were slaughtered by their Soviet leaders in Moscow just two decades before it was built. This is a classic case of how the Soviets brainwashed their people, and did such a good job, that many pro-Russian Ukrainians still don't want to believe the truth.

I am now a father to a Russian born son and two Ukrainian born daughters. I want them to be proud of their culture, but I also want them to know how much pain and suffering that both Russians and Ukrainians have endured at the hands of their own rulers.

Ronald Reagan was right. The Soviet Union was an "Evil Empire" and I won't shield my children from that fact. They need to know the truth about their native countries, just as they need to know the truth about their adopted country.

I won't hide the ugly facts of America's history either, but few countries are as self-examining and self-critical as the United States, and our democratic institutions (such as the free press) don't allow too many things to remain hidden for very long. And if you don't like what our government is doing, you can march right to the gate of the White House and tell the President exactly what you think without fear of punishment (I've done it). Try doing that today at the Kremlin!

An excellent resource documenting the Great Famine is "Harvest of Sorrow" by Robert Conquest. I'm going to order a copy for all three of my children.

For Grandma Lela

2007-09-03T15:17:00.000-07:00

This shot is an answered prayer for one special woman affectionately known in Odessa as Grandma Lela. Lela Steel has been a missionary to Odessa's orphans for ten years. For hundreds of these forgotten kids, the only time they've ever heard the words "I love you" came from Lela. She also never fails to let them know that they are loved by Jesus and indeed God has worked through Grandma Lela to convert dozens of orphans to faith in Christ. But our daughter Galyna never responded to Lela's attempts to reach out. Galyna was reportedly rude to her on many occasions. Of course that never stopped Grandma Lela from praying for her and I wanted her to see this picture of Galyna studying her Bible. She recently told me that "Bible" was her favorite class at school. The seeds that Grandma Lela planted years ago are beginning to take root.

We love you Grandma Lela, and thank God for your service in the name of Christ.

School Days!

2007-08-21T09:46:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that this day has come. Anastasia and Galyna weren't thrilled about having their picture taken at 7:15 AM, but clad in their kilts, sporting new haircuts, they marched off to their first day of school! They absolutely hated having to wear a uniform, but of course their parents are delighted. Their courage to face their fears has been impressive, as they are now immersed in the strongest sense. By arrangement with their school, Dana is accompanying them this week to ease the transition. Anastasia will be starting out in the 9th grade and Galyna has been placed in the 6th. We'll see how it goes and adjust down the road if necessary, but for now we are amazed at how smoothly everything has gone.

This is a shot I never thought I would be posting! Nastia suddenly decided that she wanted to play volleyball, and went to practice yesterday. Dana and I were stunned because she has always refused to do anything of a physical nature. It has been so wonderful to see her confidence soar recently.

My daughter running wind sprints. These workouts are just brutal! Nastia will play on the Varsity team and the first two games are Friday and Saturday requiring a family road trip to Winchester, VA and Maryland. Oh my, how our lives have changed!

No doubt about it, Galyna is going to be a star. She will play on the middle school squad and has already made alot of new friends. She got in the car last night with Dana and said, "I happy!"
I know we're in for some tough times ahead with school, but we are so grateful at the enormous blessing our daughters have been.

Lampost Goes Kaput!

2007-08-18T18:36:00.000-07:00

What happens when your 13 year old Ukrainian adopted daughter mows the lawn for the first time? .......

Lampost goes KAPUT!

She looked so cute in her Sponge Bob pajamas, and was having such a great time, all I could do was laugh. When she quit before finishing and I asked her why she didn't cut around the Crepe Myrtles, she said, "I no want kees (kiss) with tree!"

It occured to me how symbolic this incident is for those of us on this kind of adoption journey. It's a bumpy ride allright, but a wonderful one!

A Month At Home

2007-08-15T17:26:00.000-07:00

It is still hard to grasp that this beautiful young lady is our daughter. Anastasia loves spending time with her mom. It's like they've been mother and daughter forever! Her English is rapidly improving to the point where we can have basic conversations and her ability to read is excellent. She read all of Heidi in one day! The big news is that the girls start school on Tuesday, August 21st. Everything has fallen into place for them to attend full-time at Banner Christian School. The story of the first five years of this school is an incredible story of God's faithfulness, and we are so humbled and grateful for the way God has provided.

Galyna has already practiced two days with the volleyball team. She was scared to death on the first day, and couldn't even say her name when she was asked to introduce herself. But several girls on the team reached out to her, and she never stopped smiling for the next two hours, which was a brutal workout! She is a natural athlete, and quickly found that she fit in with all of her teammates. Now, if she only worked as hard on her English! Fortunately, we've found a great tutor who will give them English instruction at school five hours a week. I've got a feeling that little Miss Galya is in for a shock!

I love these moments! Anastasia is a great big sis to her little brother, and Christian is mostly happy about having two sisters. He only threatens to send them back to Ukraine once or twice a day!

We don't have cable or satellite TV, so we watch alot of movies. I highly recommend The Miracle Worker, a newly released version of the Helen Keller story. This is a great film for children and parents in adoptive families, or anyone else for that matter.

Galya rode for the first time last summer, and she couldn't wait to saddle up again. She walked around the house for a week saying, "I want horse!" The lessons are pricey, but it is a joy to see her doing something she does so well. And a huge confidence booster. She'll need it when school starts next week!

Three Weeks At Home

2007-08-04T11:57:00.000-07:00

After three full weeks at home, I am happy to report that our newly adopted daughters are doing very well! We've had some, shall we say, "challenges," but overall the girls are happy and adjusting nicely to their new lives. I love this shot of them, taken at sunset in Kill Devil Hills, NC. After just one week at home, we took our first family vacation at the beach. Galyna and Anastasia are very different, but we're learning to appreciate their different personalities. I'd say we're off to a great start!

It is a joy to see them bonding so well with their mom. Dana is taking a maternity leave and it has been an incredible blessing. They absolutely adore their mother and it has been amazing for me to see things in my wife I never had an opportunity to see before. Unlike me, Dana thrives on structure and she is always a patient, loving teacher.

Galyna and Christian are constant companions. She turns 14 in October, and they are seperated by seven years, but they share many common interests.

Our church put on a great Vacation Bible School, and both girls chipped in to help.

Nastia is naturally sweet and tender with children. She helped out in the nursery.

She is the only introvert in our household! Nastia is extremely shy and prefers sedentary activities. She is also very bright and has an excellent work ethic, not to mention a beautiful smile.

We got a big scare at the beach when a fearsome 40 pound pirate appeared and demanded that we surrender our booty!

Our little Galyna also has a good amount of God given athletic ability. She is on the go all the time and always eager to participate in games of any kind.

I love this. Galyna eating the first of two sloppy joes for breakfast!

I still can't believe it when I see them all together. Our home us much louder and rowdier, but God has blessed us richly. I love our family!

God Bless America!

2007-07-14T05:03:00.000-07:00

This is what we saw when we emerged from U.S. Customs last night at Dulles Int'l Airport!

Some happy girls with their little brother

Many of our friends from Alexandria showed up to our complete surprise making it even more special. Here's Dana with Quintin, Reece and Natalie.

I couldn't believe it when I saw Jim Galambos and Eric Sapp from our old church in Alexandria. The love and support of people like this is more than a little humbling. We love you guys!

Galyna and Anastasia with their Babushka Phyllis

My look at seeing my little little man after a three week absence. Boy, I was ready to come home!

The girls taking their last steps on Ukrainian soil

As much as I hate to admit it, Air France is a great airline. The trip from Paris to Washington on board this giant 777 was the most comfortable long distance flight I've ever had.

In Paris

A couple of new American citizens, arriving on the 400 year anniversary of the establishment of the first English colony at Jamestown. After being away for nearly two months, I have much greater appreciation for the land of opportunity.

Please keep our family in your prayers as we being our new lives together.

Farewell Ukraine!

2007-07-12T09:18:00.000-07:00

It wasn't looking good a few hours ago, but after some fine work by Dima and Alexey of our adoption team, I have visas and passports in hand and I am flying home tomorrow with my soon-to-be new AMERICAN daughters!

When I told them the news, Galyna screamed and Nastia hasn't stopped smiling. After our English lessons of late, I think they were ready to kill me, but in the past couple of hours I've never seen them happier. We are overjoyed.

Thanks for all your prayers and the awesome love and support you've sent our way in the past seven weeks. For all your parents in process and those in the process of parenting their newly adopted kids, I hope we can continue to share our experience, strength and hope together.

We're coming home. Thanks be to God.

Despair and Hope

2007-07-12T01:00:00.000-07:00

As of Thursday morning, two of the three "problems" have been resolved. If the other issue is taken care of by the end of the day, we're outta here tomorrow! But it wouldn't be Ukraine it the drama didn't come down to the wire, so it will be several hours before I know what will happen.

Wednesday in Kyiv was definitely a rock bottom experience as none of the "problems" had been resolved be the end of the day, and I discovered that if we can't leave Friday, the next available flight is not until Tuesday!

Adding to the frustration of all this is the very difficult behavior of the girls, who have decided to resist all my attempts to engage them or teach them anything. I find myself doing alot of projecting about how much worse it will get and wondering if I have the energy and grace to weather the gathering storm.

I went for a long walk last night, stopping along the way to attend an Orthodox Vespers service at St. Mikhail's Monastery. I have no idea what they are chanting or singing, but this is an amazing place to go and pray. Once you enter the stunningly beautiful cathedral, all outside noise and motion come to a halt. The choir sings from a concealed loft and sounds as if the voices come right from heaven. Of course the real trick is to turn off all the clutter in your mind, and after attending these services daily, I'm getting much better at it.

Afterwards, I walked down to Independence Square. This is one of the most beautiful public squares I've ever seen, and thousands of people come out in the evening to socialize. But what struck me was how many of them were just standing around apparently getting drunk. Everywhere I turned were groups of teenagers and young adults hanging out drinking beer or wine coolers and chain smoking. I felt as if I had descended into the valley of dry bones and it was terribly depresssing to take it all in, as I desperately wanted someone to talk to and confide my own troubles in.

I even began to get angry as I wondered about how many of these youngsters will soon become the biological parents of orphan children. Alcholism contributes to a large percentage of the apalling number of orphans (our girls' mother died of alcoholism) in Ukraine and if you talk to locals, everyone acknowledges the problem. Yet it's hard to find anyone walking around after five o'clock who doesn't have a bottle of beer in their hand. This country has the worse negative population growth in all of Europe and after you've been here a while, the reason is evident.

As I've discovered in the wreckage of my own life, the only hope is through surrender to God. Sunday night in Kyiv's Olympic Stadium, I sat stunned as I saw thousands of Ukrainains confess their sin and surrender to the cross of Christ. Franklin Graham's "Festival of Hope" crusade could not come at a better time as this nation stands at a crossroads.

I had seen these kind of events growing up watching Billy Graham, and it was incredible to actually be present at one. You might say Franklin is more hard core than his father. But in the introductory video, he makes clear that he once lived a life of self indulgence, abusing drugs and alcohol. So Franklin's conviction of sin comes through loud and clear. In a brief message, he directly addressed the social ills that plague this country: alcoholism, drug addiction, sexual immorality leading to an epidemic of HIV/AIDS and other skyrocketing STD's. He spoke about guilt and shame as a man who knew it all too well. This is the insanity of addiction when one has to keep going back to the drug to be relieved from all the guilt and shame. Indeed, the drug of choice becomes God. This is what G.K. Chesterton meant when he said, "Every man knocking on the door of a brothel is looking for God."

But of course the gospel is "good news" and Graham made clear that no matter what kind of lifestyle you've led, the offer of full and free forgiveness is there to those willing to do a U-turn. The scope of that promise is universal and none are exluded. Yes, we are much more sinful and guilty than we are willing to admit, but we are also much more forgiven and affirmed in our salvation than we could ever know! It is amazing what happens when people hear a simple, sincere explanation of the gospel. As Jesus said, "repentance and forgiveness of sins should be proclaimed in his name to all nations."

The Ukrainians in that stadium responded by the thousands. I don't know how many came forward, but it was astonishing, and Graham did not have to ask more than once if they wanted to be forgiven.

Does this not blow you away? Witnessing elderly Babushkas walking down to that field is one of the most inspirational things I've ever seen.

Graham made a special appeal to the members of the Ukranian Army and they came en masse. As I saw them pouring down the aisles I was overcome with emotion. I've been in this country for nearly two months and have come to love these people.

What an incredible thing for our girls to have the opportunity to hear the gospel in their own language, presented in such a beautiful, sincere and powerful way. I've been critical and often sneering of the kind of revival events, but as I watched my 16 year old daughter reading a one-page summary of the plan of salvation, all I could think was how miraculous the timing of this was for our family. Thank God for Franklin Graham and all those who brought great Glory to God for bringing the Festival of Hope to Ukraine.

My prayer is that a day will soon come when Ukrainians will be able to take care of their own children. Please pray for all of us who have been led here to adopt these hurting children, and for healing for this beautiful and stricken nation.

Small Blessings in Kyiv

2007-07-09T02:32:00.000-07:00

Hooray! I found a hotel with a "business center" so I can blog again!!!

Today marks the beginning of week 7 in Ukraine. The girls and I have been in Kyiv since last Wednesday, awaiting FBI fingerprint results for Dana and me. But, it turns out that we would still be here anyway as I learned at the US Embassy that Nastia can not be granted a visa until she clears a criminal background check in Ukraine because she is 16! Those results are supposed to clear tomorrow, so the wait continues for these three outstanding elements to be resolved.

Ever since learning that we would be stranded in Kyiv, totally at the mercy of those responsible for processing fingerprints, I've gone through a cycle of emotions: anger at myself for not having taken care of the fingerprint problem before it became a problem; frustration at not being able to do anything about it; loneliness from being away from Dana and Christian for so long, and frustration and anger at the girls for their disrespectful and sometimes defiant behavior.

Yet it has become all too clear to me that this is also an opportunity that the Lord has given me and the girls. I have seen things and learned many things about them that I had never really observed during their hosting visits with us, or during the earlier part of our stay in Odessa.

They have absolutely no boundaries when it comes to sexual morality. I finally cut them off from watching the Russian version of MTV. Some of the videos are close to pornographic, and their favorite ones are the very worst of American gangster rap and hip hop. Their favorite movies are what they call "dance" movies, which glorify the hip hop lifestyle. This is a particular problem for the kids in Odessa, which has got to be the most sexualized place on the planet. I'm not kidding, it makes South Beach Miami look like Omaha! I had a lengthy discussion with the girls and their friends about sex and the reality of what having no sexual boundaries results in. I pointed out that Ukraine has the highest rate of HIV/AIDS, syphillis and other STD's in all of
Europe. Ukraine's HIV rate is on par with some African countries.

Of course they don't get it. One of their friends even told me that "this bunny you have in America (meaning the Playboy bunny)" is not a problem in Ukraine! This was a 15 year old girl! But these situations also present excellent opportunities to talk to them about what the Bible says about sex and I am pleased that we've broken the ice on this topic.

God is also using this time for me to learn many things about myself, as their glaring character defects and unrepentant bad behavior is a mirror for my own sin and daily shortcomings. They have no discipline whatsover, but the truth is, neither do I much of the time. I am much better at hiding my sin. They don't care about what others think, and of course, I spend alot of energy in putting on airs to mask my lame spiritual condition.

What I am learning is that I must confess my sin daily, and ask for God's help in teaching our girls how to live in a family, and live in this world. So, I am happy to report that I am seeing some progress in executing this. I have established a routine where we have an "English lesson" daily, before doing anything else. I wrote down the pledge of allegiance and a proverb on a sheet of paper, and (much to their chagrin) have them read it aloud, several times if necessary.

Anastasia flatly refused on the first day, and I proceeded to put my 16 year old daughter in timeout! She was shocked, but she sat in a chair in the corner for a good thirty minutes. I banned her from watching TV the rest of the day, and a few hours later, she grudgingly complied and read the Pledge, cracking a smile at the end.

Being "tough" on them is the conventional wisdom, but this is much easier to say than do. These kids do not like being asked to do anything, and if you ask them, they will simply say no. So, I have learned to TELL them what we are doing and give them a choice of doing two things.

Today, I gave them an assignment to go out and take pictures of five different historical sites, and to return at 6:30 PM and give me a report on the historical significance of each site. They shook their heads no at this, but when I told them that their choice was either that, or spend the day with me touring churches, Nastia grabbed the camera and smiled!

These are the kind of victories I am savoring. Before they left, I sat down with them, held hands and said a short prayer, asking God to give us His mercy and provide a way for us to return this week. It will be interesting to see how they do on their photographic history report.

Tonight I hope to put up some pictures of the amazing Franklin Graham "Festival of Hope" crusade that came to Kyiv this weekend. For more than two hours, the girls heard great testimonies, music, and a riveting explanation of the gospel in their own language. Do you know what it's like to hear "Just As I Am" sung in Ukrainian by a choir of 5-thousand?

I reckon there's a reason why we're stuck inside of Kyiv, with the Goochland blues again!!!

Goodbye From Odessa

2007-07-01T06:08:00.000-07:00

Update: Boy did I blow it! Our "fingerprints" expired last week meaning our criminal background check with the US Embassy is no longer valid. So.....our return will be delayed by at least one week depending on Dana's ability to get her fingerprints processed in Virginia and forwarded to the embassy in Kyiv. Not being a detail oriented person is hazardous when adopting internationally! See you sometime in mid July, I hope!

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This is our final blog posting from Ukraine. After five weeks in Odessa, the girls and I head to Kyiv Monday night and are scheduled to return home to begin our new lives together on Saturday. It has been an honor to correspond with you. Your loving support, kind words and warm wishes for our family has been surprising and we are more than humbled. You have been a very important part of the "process" and I want to express my sincerest thanks for helping to make this incredible journey so special.

Few things are more annoying than an American who travels abroad and suddenly becomes worldly and cultured. It is tempting to idealize a place you've come to love and I know that some of my postings in the past five weeks describing Odessa and its people may seem overly sentimental and over the top. But Dana and I want our adopted Ukrainian daughters to remember their native country for the enormous good and obvious bad, and hopefully this journal will reappear in a scrapbook that their children and grandchildren will read. The sad truth is that the Ukrainian economy remains more or less a disaster and if it weren't so, we would not be here.

But I ask....

Can a country that builds Opera Houses like this....

Where its poorest and oldest people create such beauty....

And its citizens are so crazy about ice cream...

Where even the stray cats strut in style....

And jaw-dropping scenes like this surround you...

Can Ukraine and its beautiful people stay down forever?
Please join me in praying for God to pour out His blessings upon this land.

Where To Stay in Odessa

2007-07-01T05:02:00.000-07:00

Adoption families coming to Odessa basically have two options:

A) You can stay near the orphanages and walk to see your kids. This is more affordable as you save tons on cab fare, but you won't have air conditioning and you'll have to take a taxi or bus to go sightseeing. I would not want to do this for an entire month.

Or

B) You can stay in what is known as City Centre where you can walk to fine restaurants, most major sights and enjoy comfort and safety. Odessa Executive Suites came highly recommended to us and we can enthusiastically second that recommendation. Here you are right smack dab in the middle of everything, and when you consider that you are staying in a world-class resort city, the rates are very good (check the monthly rates).

Scott is the American owner who lives nearby and can be seen daily in the office. He knowns how to make Westerners feel at home.

Some of the apartments look down on Deribosovskaya, the main street.

The oceanfront is a beautiful ten minute walk. The kids all know how to ride the bus to get here and they love to visit, often with two or three of their friends.

Manager Masha and assistant Ulyana speak fluent English and are indispensable when it comes to recommending where to go (and not go) and what to do. Their office also serves as an unofficial social gathering spot as guests are seen daily just hanging out and talking for hours. Dana and I met some fascinating people in the OES office!

Vern the ex-pat Texan is a permanent fixture on the second floor. He knows where all the good coffee shops are.

This has been our home for five weeks. I'm gonna miss it!

Hi From Nastia and Masha

2007-06-29T08:28:00.000-07:00

Hi, it's Nastia and Masha. We are writing today's blog and my dad give us camera to take all the pictures. We are good friends for one year but have known each other at internot for ten years. I so happy that Masha will come to Amerika to live in Nebraska in November I hope.

We have good times together and act very silly.

We take this picture last night at Deribososkaya Street in Odessa. That is "Ah-Diess-ah"

I (Nastia) am very happy to come to America. But I am also sad to leave Odessa and my friends.

(Masha) I will miss my friend Nastia because she will live in America. I'm so happy to come to Nebraska but I'm scared to go to school because school is so big....many people and little bit know english and will be so hard. I hope to come to Virginia to see Nastia and I hope Nastia come to Nebraska to see me. I want say hi to Steve, Gail, Laura, Amy and Michele.

(Nastia) I will miss Odessa...Black Sea, Deribosovskaya Street, my school, Svetlana my art teacher, also Tania art teacher and all school friends. Also my English teacher Larissa and Dima, and friend Vika. But I'm so happy go to America to be able to have good future and a very funny brother CP and so beautiful mom and dad. And crazy sister also. I say goodbye now and see you soon.

Our Jessie

2007-06-29T02:28:00.000-07:00

This is Dana's niece Jessie, who is the big reason why Dana and Christian are returning home early. Jessie is competing in the Miss Virginia Pageant this weekend, and on Thursday night, she won the preliminary talent competition! We are so proud of this young lady who has lived with us since last August. Jessie has experienced great sorrow, but she has the same strength of her aunt that allows her to carry on with unbelievable grace and excellence. She is carrying a 4.0 GPA after two full semesters of community college and devoting the rest of her free time to humanitarian causes. And of course she has spectacular talent as a classical vocalist. I know she blew the roof off the Roanoke Coliseum last night!

Our prayers are with you the rest of the way!!!! Dana will be there soon. We love you Jess!!!!

Manly Men

2007-06-28T12:03:00.000-07:00

After spending two hours at a Russian banya with these men, I think I can say I have real friends in Ukraine. After all, I don't think you hang out at a banya with just anybody! The incredible part is that earlier today I had pulled out my Bradt Travel Guide and read all about the banya experience. I thought it would be pretty cool, but didn't want to go alone. Then only an hour or two later, our interpreter Alyona called and asked if I would like to go to the banya with her boyfriend Slava to celebrate his father's birthday! Unbelievable!!! Of course I was rarin to go, and I write this posting as a thoroughly relaxed man! Making it even better was that Slava's younger brother Anatoly joined us along with his friend Maxim, both who speak fluent English.

The banya is what we call the sauna, but in Ukraine and Russia, it is a multi-hour experience, shared by friends. Slava has served as our main driver for most of our stay, and he and I hit it off from the first day. Christian couldn't wait to see him every day and would run up to him and say "Slava my man!" This was Slava's treat for me, and it was unforgettable. Your wear the sporty wool hat when you go into the dry "Russian" sauna only. This banya also had a Turkish (wet) banya, for which you must remove the hat. The banya also differs from ours in that they use fragrant oils in the steam, and when you come out of the heat, you jump right into a cold pool! You can also choose to have an ice cold bucket of water dumped on your head. Then you repeat the process of banya/bath/banya for as many times as you like. Slava also arranged for me to have an oakleaf massage. They use two huge clusters of oak branches saturated in oil, and an attendant vigorously applies the hot leaves all over. This may be the best cure for a back ache ever invented. Afterwards, we all retired to the lounge room where beer, tea and other beverages are served. Experiencing this was another reminder of how much Dana and I have learned from Ukrainians, who place a high value on friendship.

Methods vary in the winter on how the cool-down is achieved!

The ultimate in father-son bonding!

I am never going to forget these men who I am especially honored to call my friends: (L-R) Anatoly, Maxim, Valeriy and Slava. Slava said he would be happy to come to Virginia and build a banya for us. I think we would need fewer anti-depressants if we had them all over America!

A Day In Odessa

2007-06-26T10:34:00.000-07:00

Oh my, what a week and it's only Wednesday! Monday evening our beautiful Anastasia joined about 30 classmates in a graduation ceremony/entertainment extravaganza. We didn't know what to expect and left totally amazed at the talent and potential of these kids. Lately, we've mentioned some of the "challenges" that older adopted children present, but Dana and I were just blown away by the graduating children of "Internot 4." I hope that some of our blog postings in the last month will encourage others to think about adopting or helping these kids by other means.

Meanwhile, Dana and Christian had to be rerouted through Kyiv and will now fly home on Friday. We made a mad scramble to the Odessa train station last night, just in time for them to make the overnight train. Saying goodbye was so hard. After putting their bags in the train car and making sure they were OK, I sat down to pray for them and all I could do was cry. We're not used to being apart, and I still don't know when the girls and I will return.

It felt so strange coming back to the apartment where we've spent the past month. Dana and I got up every day and drank coffee together and shared some of the best weeks of our 11 year marriage. Christian was amazing this trip and I miss my little man terribly already.

But I didn't have any time to feel sorry for myself because the events of today were enough to write a lengthy adventure story about. Despite the fact that the ten day waiting period expired on Friday, we are not able to get the girls' passports until their miniscule personal bank accounts are resolved along with their small stake in a family apartment. This is where you encounter the surly Soviet style beauracracy that citizens of Ukraine have been dealing with their entire lives.

What it amounts to is that we actually have to pay an extra $1000 cash to get it "settled." Then there's the other interesting problem of changing Nastia's name on her Ukrainian passport. This is another lingering practice from the days of the police state when Ukrainian citizens 16 years and older had to carry a passport with them everywhere (in fairness I should say that the beaureaucrats in Richmond and Washington aren't exactly a model of efficiency either).

Fortunately, the woman directing all this frenzied activity was our excellent translator/facilitator Alyona, who is extraordinary. She speaks fluent English and deftly goes back and forth between two languages while answering two cell phones and all my dumb questions. Dashing and darting through every corner of Odessa and more than a few alleyways, we jumped from taxi to taxi, and on one occasion bailed out of a cab and hoofed it for at least two miles in less than 20 minutes. I'm used to running long distances, but I was struggling to keep up with Alyona who was dodging traffic, jumping over mud puddles and jaywalking like a champ, all in high-heels! Several times we blew off the elevator and ran up four or five flights of stairs.

The highlight of the morning was when I attempted to strike up a conversation with our first cab driver who appeared to be in his fifties. I went for the military angle and inquired about his service with the Soviet Army, then asked if he had used a Mosin-Nagant rifle and could shoot as well as Zaitzev, the famous WWII sniper. He started laughing as he shook his head yes, then reached into the console, pulled out a loaded 45 caliber pistol, slid a round into the chamber, and handed it to me! "Very nice, very nice," I said. He wouldn't take it back until I looked through the sites to demonstrate my approval, and fortunately, did not insist on me doing any target practice. He just threw it back in the console and lit up a stogie.

Understand that this guy was the only real taxi we used. When you hail a cab here, you are basically just hitch-hiking. Anyone will stop and pick you, usually in a 35 year old Lada without seatbelts. If you are lucky and happen to find one with something that resembles a seatbelt, they get offended if you try to put it on! Earlier this week, some guy told me at the end of a long day that the seatbelt was "not important....." I was not in the mood for his attitude and looked right at him and said "Ya Amerikanitz.....Important for me!"

Oh, while I'm at it, the driving.....brace yourselves folks! These guys make Dale Earnhardt, Sr. look like Little Bo Peep! The driving is aggressive, fast and not for the faint of heart. Although interestingly, I will say that they are actually very skilled at scaring you to death. I spoke to Nelson Calzadilla about this at length. He and wife Karen are also here adopting and Nelson is a surbuban Chicago policeman so he has seen alot of bad driving. He agrees that it seems out of control and admitted to being spooked at first, but observed that you see very few dents in the cars, and he also said that they pay attention to where they are going and use the horn the way its supposed to be used.

But that really doesn't prepare you when they decide to cross lanes illegally and pass cars on the sidewalk! This actually happened to us last week. Pedestrians just got out of the way and no one seemed to mind.

The truly hilarious part is that all this crazy driving takes place with the backbeat of the constant thumping and pumping of that ghastly EuroTech dance music. Believe it or not, George Michael is still a superstar here and it doesn't matter how old your driver is, they all listen to it, cranked up very loud! More than once today I laughed as I pictured myself in a speeded up Russian music video.

Another memorable moment occured as we were getting into one of the "private" taxis. Alyona looked at me and whispered, don't speak! Nothing ever stops me from speaking, even when I can't speak the language, but I obliged her request and kept my mouth shut for an hour as we whizzed through rush hour traffic. It was a wild lady driver who made alot of pedestrians and other drivers very mad at her so I was thrilled to get out and walk in the rain, and besides, seeing one cabbie pull a gun was enough for one day. Alyona informed me that the reason she gagged me was that we would have been charged double if the driver knew I was a Yank. I honestly think I would rather talk and pay double any day.

Meanwhile....Thursday and Friday are Ukrainian national holidays, so it looks like the girls and I won't be able to travel to Kyiv until Monday night and do our business with the US Embassy on Tuesday and Thursday because the embassy is closed on July 4th. I'm gonna have to stay in Odessa eating cheap gourment food and ice cream for another five days. I might even have to smoke a cigar or two.

Prayer request: I would appreciate your prayers for Dana and Christian's safety while in Kyiv and for their return flight on Friday.

The Home Stretch

2007-06-26T02:05:00.001-07:00

Hard to believe, but after a whole month in Ukraine, we are packing our bags today. Christian and I catch the first flight out of Odessa Wednesday morning, while Jim and the girls have to take care of business with the US Embassy in Kyiv later this week. That will likely push their homecoming into next week. Jim will keep the blog going as long as he stays in Odessa, but it's time for me to say thanks to all of you for the incredible love and support you have sent our way.

We had no idea what kind of response we would get from doing this blog, but it has been overwhelming to get all of your heartfelt emails and comments. The most amazing thing is that we now have a bond with people we've never met. God Bless you all. For those following us who are in the "process," keep the faith! We never thought this day would come - but it does! (If you are curious about adopting in Ukraine, please see the links on this page.)

This month has been the most amazing and yet relaxing adventure I've ever had. I have not seen one person jogging in this city and that's been nice too - no guilt! On the contrary, we've eaten ice cream every day (sometimes twice) and haven't spotted a low-carb item on any menu! How the women look so great here is a mystery because they sure aren't drinking Atkins Shakes and doing Pilates! Having time off to spend with Jim, Christian and the girls has been wonderful and has certainly made the trip special.

But I think it's even more. I believe it's the genuine sincerity of these hard-working, sturdy people that has made this a journey to remember. I'll never forget seeing Dima, who is at least 65 years old, hauling bricks for 12 hours a day, seven days a week for the new apartment courtyard. He had a smile for me every single day. Nor will I forget the elderly babushkas standing at the two-hour long Orthodox worship service (no pews here)! These are tough, dignified and patient people and I have learned a lot from them.

But now it's time to move on - to take the girls home and begin the challenging task of building bonds and trying to form a loving family. There is a lot of work to do and not much time to do it given the girls' ages. They are essentially toddlers in teenage bodies, demonstrating behavior that is baffling and frustrating on a daily basis. And the real adventure has yet to begin! This will be very hard work, but we knew that coming into it.

Our lives will never be the same. For the last 4 1/2 years, this beautiful child has brought us more joy than we ever imagined. Part of me is sad that he will no longer have our undivided attention. But part of the reason we've come to Ukraine is to build a family for Christian. Jim and I both come from big families and have always wanted Christian to have loving siblings like we do.

This will no doubt take time. In fact things started out rocky on this front for Christian and the girls. By the end of their visit to America last year, the little guy was saying, "I want those girls back to Ukraine!" To which they would respond, "you go back Russia!" But the good news is that Christian now adores his sisters and they seem to respond in kind.

The kids are already rough-housing like they lived together all their lives. Here Galyna gives Christian a "wedgie".

Christian responds with some Tae Kwon Do on Nastia.

When all is said and done - this is what will make it work. Jim and I celebrated our 11th anniversary last week and we know that this is where it all starts. No doubt our marriage will be tested more than ever in the next couple of years. But I'm confident that if we put our faith and our marriage first, we'll give them something they've never had -self confidence, hope, a sense of what loving relationships look like - and ultimately an assurance that they are indeed adopted children of God. We pray for God's mercy as we go forward, and ask for your prayers as we begin life as a family of five.

The Evangelical Presbyterian Church Of Odessa

2007-06-24T10:52:00.000-07:00

In the past month we have come to love this country. One of the reasons we have such a heavy heart about leaving is that we have to say goodbye to our fellow Presbyterians at the Evangelical Presbyterian Church of Odessa. The Ukrainian Presbyterians and American missionaries we've met here are just as fascinating as the history of the Reformed Christian faith in Ukraine, which dates back to the 16th century. It is a little known fact that the Protestant Reformation came this far eastward, but historical records show that approximately 100 Reformed Christian churches existed in Ukraine between 1570-1596. That came to a screeching halt with the Communist Revolution, but Presbyterianism is once again on the march in the land of the Rus.

This thriving congregation is one of 11 churches in the Evangelical Presbyterian Church of Ukraine. The largest is the 500 plus member Holy Trinity Church of Kyiv. The denomination was established by the Presbyterian Church in America's world missions organization, which also trains Ukrainian pastors and other church leaders at the Evangelical Reformed Seminary of Ukraine.

Today was a special treat as 38 choir members and musicians from Tenth Presbyterian Church in Philadelphia lifted their voices in glory to God. They will be performing in special concerts throughout the week.

Pastor Valera Bubuinin preaches a message of hope, which is translated into English.

Bob and Andrea Burnham have been PCA missionaries in Ukraine for 12 years. "Right now the Presbyterian Church of Ukraine is poised on the edge of exponential growth," says Bob. "Our goal is to have 44 churches in the denomination in the next 15 years." Read about their hope for Ukraine and inspirational story here.

Darlene and Clay Quarterman have devoted their lives to foreign missions. Clay is president of the Seminary. They say a big hello to all their old friends in Hopewell, Virginia!

The Martin family has called Odessa home for nine years: (L to R) David, Jill, Ruth Anne, Shirley and Paul. We were befriended by this wonderful missionary family in our first week.

One of the greatest blessings is that this church is attracting young folks who are eager to share God's love with their friends. Every week we saw orphans, and kids who had "graduated" from the orphanage worshiping here.

The beautiful voices of the youth choir sing out with such joy and heart, it is guaranteed to leave you misty-eyed! There is nothing like hearing favorite hymns and praise songs in Russian. We can't wait to return to this special church to see what God is doing in the years to come.

The Eastern Orthodox Church

2007-06-23T09:12:00.000-07:00

Ukraine is the birthplace of Slavic civilization and for more than 1000 years, that history has been closely tied to the Orthodox Christian faith. Like most American Protestants, Orthodoxy has always been a mystery to me, but four years ago I had the privilege of taking a Systematic Theology course with Dr. Robert Letham, an esteemed Reformed pastor and scholar from Britain. Letham is thoroughly in the Reformed Evangelical camp, so it was surprising to hear him regularly quote Orthodox theologians such as Bishop Kallistos Ware and Alexander Schmeman. I finally got around to reading these authors in the past year and have attended Orthodox worship services in Richmond, so I was delighted to recently receive notice from the Westminster Theological Seminary Bookstore that Dr. Letham's new book is called "Through Western Eyes: Eastern Orthodoxy - A Reformed Perspective." The publisher writes:

Eastern Orthodoxy is increasingly popular in the Anglo-Saxon world. It conveys a sense of mystery, of continuity with the past, of dignified worship at a time when evangelical Protestantism is increasingly cheapened and trivialized.

Letham's book examines the serious theological differences between East and West while cautioning Reformed believers that:

"There are clear and significant areas of agreement - a common allegiance to the triune God; the person of Christ; the authority of Scripture and the truth of the gospel."

Indeed, the Orthodox faithful have defended, fought for, and died for the faith since the very beginning of Christianity. Please don't miss the opportunity to visit the famous Orthodox sites while in Ukraine, and for an unforgettable experience, attend one of the beautiful Orthodox liturgies.

The Bell Tower at the entrance of the ancient St. Sophia's Cathedral in Kyiv. You can see mosaic and frescoes here dating back to the 11th Century.

The seven gold domes of the stunning Dormition Cathedral at Kyiv's Monastery of the Caves, a modern replica of the building erected in 1077. The original was destroyed by the retreating Soviet Army in WWII.

Founded in 1051, the Monastery of the Caves is the holiest site in Slavic lands.

Visiting the actual caves is a bit of a trek, but because it is an active monastery, there is no admission fee. Women must cover their heads and legs. Men are not permitted to wear shorts and no pictures can be taken.

The Caves entrance. This is not for the claustrophobic! You wind your way through very narrow passages passing by the bodies of the mummified monks. This is a rare and moving experience.

No signs are in English and none of the tourist guides said anything about not taking pictures of the Priests (oops!).

One of the things I hope to teach my Russian-born son and Ukrainian-born daughters is that Christians are actually called to suffer (1 Pet 2:21). Modern Christianity doesn't teach this biblical truth much anymore, but few people have suffered more throughout history than Orthodox Christians. They have never forgotten what it means to take up the cross.

Beautiful Odessa

2007-06-21T14:24:00.000-07:00

Update: the ten day waiting period ends today (Friday)! It's another one of the big markers that all families adopting in Ukraine anticipate. Of course it wouldn't be international adoption if we didn't have more red tape to navigate through, which means we won't be returning until next week. Dana and Christian will likely fly out of Odessa in the middle of next week, while the girls and I return to Kyiv to get their US passports at the American Embassy. So their homecoming won't take place until next weekend at the earliest. We're not complaining about the extra time though, because we absolutely love the envigorating and fascinating city of Odessa!

Today my youngest two children and I walked (you walk everywhere here) to what has become one of my all-time favorite restaurants. The Odesskya Boulevard Restaurant overlooking the Black Sea epitomizes the laid-back style of this resort city with excellent Ukrainian dishes and outdoor seating that rivals Paris!

A big bowl of Borsch cost $3 and is quite filling along with a slice or two of bread. As we discovered in Moscow, there's nothing better than a hot bowl of Borsch in the winter, which is much tastier than it looks!

For a touristy joint, the service is very friendly, but don't expect to ever sit down to a quick meal. They just don't understand the concept of lunch "hour."

I am not kidding about the comparisons to Paris. Much of downtown Odessa is even more beautiful!

The city was built (only 200 years ago) by French and Italian architects.

This is where to come to see the locals - the funky Sobornaya Square Park. It's one of the most unusual places I've ever experienced and I never tire of coming to just hang out.

Unlike the more touristy places, true artisans display their work here.

This is the place to come for good quality, handmade Ukranian stuff.

Everything happens in the shadows of the stunning Orthodox Church of the Transfiguration.

I sat under this Icon of Christ for more than an hour just watching people pass by.

The faithful stop right in their tracks, turn toward Christ, and cross themselves. This woman prayed outloud for several minutes. It is a scene that is repeated dozens of times throughout the day.

While I was sitting all alone, I had a bizarre and hilarious experience that I'll probably never figure out. You are warned by everyone to never mess with the cops in Ukraine, and to never try to take their picture. So, I was a little worried when this officer approached, prompting me to fumble for my passport. But he started showing me that he wanted me to take his picture. He took a few steps away and turned, and I happily obliged. Then I showed it to him, and let him know I thought it was a lousy shot....

Since he was now my buddy, I demonstrated how he needed to walk and try to look more natural. I had him go back and forth a few times snapping off several frames, finally deciding this shot looked OK, as onlookers observed the whole thing in amazement. He looked at the picture, said "cool" and just walked away!

I was so happy I didn't get detained that I paid double for these fresh cut flowers!

Time Warp

2007-06-20T08:48:00.000-07:00

You don't have to drive far outside Odessa before the time warp hits! On our way to the Ukraine-Moldova border this horse and buggy offered a hint that we were about to travel back in time.

At times you look out the window and think it's 1800!

Bicycles are still used as work vehicles in the village of Limanskoye.

The natives were not thrilled about having their picture taken, especially by an American...

As our friend Slava joked, if I had come here 17 years ago, it would be "big problem!" Limanskoye was home to a major Soviet Mig Jet Fighter Base. It's eerie to stand in this place thinking about the Cold War, and seeing the once proud symbol of Soviet power now crumbling.

The neglected and decaying statue of Karl Marx is surrounded by weeds and goat dung. How appropriate that the goat at the base is chained!

This Lutheran Church, destroyed by Communists in the 1930's, is now a symbol of failed Marxist ideology.

In the 1932-34 famine, an estimated six to seven million Ukrainians were starved to death by Stalin. Atrocities committed against Ukrainians by Nazis and Communists are still being discovered.

Seventy years after communists gutted the interior, the walls of this Catholic Church remain.

In the first five years of the Communist Revolution, Lenin ordered the execution of more than 120,000 Orthodox Priests, Monks and Nuns. The 20th century witnessed the greatest persecution the Christian Church has ever known, as believers perished by the millions in the Former Soviet Union. But hundreds of village churches like this have risen above the ashes. The "Gates of Hell shall not prevail."

Happy Birthday Jim!

2007-06-19T12:24:00.000-07:00

Today is Jim's 46th birthday, and though he resists getting older just like the rest of us, he wouldn't have it any other way - to be in Ukraine, surrounded by his growing family, getting to know the country, its people and especially our girls, made the day one he will never forget.

His wife on the other hand is glad the day is over. Friday was our 11th wedding anniversary, Sunday was Father's Day and today was Jim's birthday! Trying to find appropriate gifts that are small and sturdy enough to travel back to America was a chore. Finding Scotch tape to wrap the gifts without speaking Russian was even harder! (I resorted to wrapping paper secured by rubber bands).

He was thrilled to receive a hand-painted Ukrainian box picturing a beautiful Orthodox church in Kiev. I think he was even more thrilled to get a special card from each of the girls and a sweet cherub figurine from Anastasia.

Amazingly, the girls' friend Vika, who recently "graduated" from the orphanage, came by with her friend Tanya to bring a special gift (a beautiful clock) for Jim. The man is loved by everyone he meets.

After gifts and cake, he treated Galyna, Anastasia and her friend Masha to see an action flick in Russian. That is just like him - to take the girls to a movie they really want to see, even though he doesn't care to see the movie (he hates action flicks) and won't understand it when he watches it.

He is like that. Jim has a huge heart for the disenfranchised and is constantly reaching out to all kinds of people. He has made more friends in Odessa than I have made in almost two years in Richmond. Perhaps it's the journalist in him, but Jim is fascinated by everyone he meets and wants to know "their story." He is genuinely concerned about people and not in a superficial "how ya doin" kind of way. Here in Odessa he wants to find out how these struggling people survive in a low-wage, high priced resort city. Yesterday, he sat talking to the manager of the cleaning crew for over an hour, "interviewing" her about her history, education, family and hopes for the future. His compassion for folks is deep and wide.

Here is Jim's new friend - the parking lot attendant, who is showing Christian a stray cat. My husband knows him by name - I do not. He shakes hands with him and his colleagues every day and bought a $30 soccer ball for them so they can kill time in the streets during their long days in the sun.

He is naturally kind and loving to the girls' friends (pictured here with Anastasia's friend Tanya) who visit us often - and to every other orphan and young person he meets. One of his greatest skills is being a good listener. Even with the language barrier, they can tell that this is a man who really cares.

Jim became friends with our driver (Slava) so quickly - that within a few days of arriving in Odessa we were eating dinner with Slava's family and visiting Slava's parents at the farm they run to feed local orphans. In case you didn't notice, he is also an extremely talented writer. Except for a couple blog entries by me, he has written and posted all the updates for almost a month now.

But his love and commitment to me and to our family is what truly amazes me. I have never seen a father love a child more dearly. And Christian cherishes his Daddy.

Of course his often childish sense of humor probably doesn't hurt . . .

(Note: I was going to post a picture of Jim here in his new "European bathing suit," which he proudly wore on the beach recently. For the sake of our marriage - I decided otherwise).

Jim's heart for God's most neglected children and his tireless efforts in getting the girls reminds me why I love him so much. I've never seen someone who is able to identify so well with anyone he comes across. He recently shared with me how much he was influenced by a Christian writer who said "There are no little people." That perfectly describes my husband's way of relating to people of all races and persuasions, especially those who are hurting. He is a very unusual man, and is curious about most everything - from Nascar, to opera, bird watching, and world history. But most of all he is passionate about his faith and that faith drives his desire to share his easy, Texas brand of hospitality with literally everyone he meets. Our daughters have seen only a glimpse of their new dad. Soon they will realize how incredibly blessed they really are.

Our Daughter Galyna

2007-06-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

Just the mention of the name "Galya" (as she's known to her friends) brings a smile to the face of anyone who knows this spirited 13 year old. She may weigh 70 pounds on a good day, and is much smaller than all her friends, but this little dynamo makes her presence felt immediately with her energy, confidence and sense of humour. Although she likes to display total self-assurance, we are discovering that she is much more sensitive than she lets on. Earlier today she cried for an hour after sister Anastasia cold-cocked her and admonished her for something we were not aware of. Following a talk about being gentle with each other, she quickly forgot about it all and showed no resentment toward her older sister. Obviously, she is blossoming into a beautiful young lady. When she first visited us in Virginia a year-and-a-half ago, she looked like she was seven years old!

She calls her little brother "Cee-Pic" - a Russian version of "CP."

Galya adores her beautiful mom. It is so sweet to hear her call Dana Mommy!

This is a very positive sign. She loves and displays instinctive tenderness toward animals...

And that's a good thing because we are big animal lovers! She has two kitties waiting at home, and is already negotiating for a dog.

She and Christian are eight years apart, but share similar interests. When I took her to the grocery store last Summer she hopped into the baby seat of the cart!

Both of our girls love fruits and vegetables with watermelon topping Galya's list.

It's hilarious to see her go to the fridge, grab a cucumber, and eat it just like an apple!

I love this shot of our younger daughter looking out over the Black Sea. It reminds me of the very first morning she spent at our home in December 2005. I got up early and found her sitting quietyly by herself, watching the sun rise. I knew then that this girl has soul. She is full of life and honestly, a bit of a wild stallion! I reckon we'll take our lumps trying to break her in but I'm betting the the payoff will be great for this impassioned little Ukrainian girl.

Close To The Earth

2007-06-18T10:08:00.000-07:00

"All the days of the afflicted are evil, but the cheerful of heart has a continual feast." (Proverbs 15:15)

Ukrainians live close to the earth. Even in the cities, those fresh fruits and vegetables being sold on the street don't travel very far. The family farm is still a way of life for many here, and we have had the honor of getting to know some real Ukrainian farmers. The Puzanovs don't actually own this farm, it belongs to the Baptist Church and exists to provide for children at the Church's private orphanage.

Apple and peach orchard

Pork is a staple of Ukrainian cooking....

But it's the strawberries that give Valeriy the biggest smile.

Not bad for a lousy growing season!

This bad boy didn't take kindly to Christian playing chase with him, as my little man has been doing with the pigeons in the park....

So, Christian learned a hard lesson (a few pecks on the leg) and our friend Slava presented him with some hard-earned feathers from his attacker!

Ludmilla and Valeriy Puzanov labor 6-7 days a week to feed the orphans. The work they have performed for decades is grueling, and they have faced severe hardship. But they are some of the most joyful, soulful, and grateful people I've ever met. I hope I never forget their example of what it means to live sacrificially.

The Permanent Things

2007-06-16T12:35:00.000-07:00

I recently wrote about this country being shattered by alcoholism, but don't come here expecting to see nothing but misery, because Ukraine, and its beautiful people will also steal your heart.

Ukrainians have always had a passion for "The Permanent Things" -- a concept revived by writer Rod Dreher. Those "things" include faith, family, friendship, architecture, poetry, literature, and all fine art forms.

Families flock to this downtown Odessa park. A real "Town Center."

Not one person in this shot has a shopping bag! This is the way Americans lived in the 1930's. Their homes are not air conditioned, so young and old alike come out in the early evening to just sit and talk.

A popular gathering spot in front of the Transfiguration Church.

Most young married couples live with the bride's parents, so nearly all Ukrainian children are raised by their Babushkas (grandmothers).

You see alot of this - mothers and daughters embracing each other as they stroll....

The same goes for good friends

Odessans are big readers. Almost all of the great Russian writers spent time here and everyone I talk to has an opinion about them.

These Chess matches go on all day long.

In the scope of history, few people have endured more pain and suffering than Ukrainians...

But they exude a rugged dignity.

May God bless each and every one of them.

Beach Party

2007-06-15T12:50:00.000-07:00

Adoptive families have a special bond and today we enjoyed a long overdue beach break with the Calzadilla family of Chicago, who are here to adopt 15 year old Vera. We have much in common with the Calzadillas as they have a soon-to-be five year old daughter, Elyse.

Elyse and Christian seem to be pretty cool with the fact that their days as only children are just about over!

The Black Sea water temperature is perfect - probably in the low 80's

On "Malibu" Beach, Sergei delivered lunch right to us...

And just like everywhere we go in Ukraine, it was delicious!

Nelson never dreamed he would be sitting on a Ukrainian beach in 2007 eating a steak!

Anastasia got a break from studying for her exit exams

Vika is one of the excellent "Team Oleg" translators. She just completed a four year degree, specializing in English and German. If you work with her in Ukraine, buy her lots of ice cream to make her happy!

This beautiful woman is the most amazing person I've ever known and I am the most grateful man alive because she is also my wife. Today Dana and I celebrated our 11th anniversary. Because of her outgoing and positive personality, no one would ever suspect that she lives in pain every day of her life due to Rheumatoid Arthritis, a condition she has suffered with since the age of 11. At times it has been crippling, yet she is the hardest working, kindest, and least judgemental person in the world. Her faith in God is unshakeable, so it's no suprise that she sees and loves everyone as a child of God.

We both know that our marriage and family life is about to change in a major way. But we are faithful knowing that we have already walked side by side through much joy and anguishing loss. Together, we are confident as we prepare to go forward as a family of five.

The Scourge of Ukraine

2007-06-14T05:13:00.000-07:00

"The World Health Organization calls alcoholism the single greatest public health crisis in modern Ukrainian history. Thirty percent of the newly orphaned children of Ukraine are “social orphans” – children of living parents who’ve abandoned them as a direct result of alcoholism. One-third of all deaths of young people between the ages of 14 and 25 are alcohol related. There are cities where over 25% of the population under 28 is HIV positive ... virtually all of which is attributable to alcoholism and drug addiction. Across the Former Soviet Union, one-half of the decline in male life expectancies from 63 to 57 years of age is alcohol related. Alcoholism impacts every social component. "

I didn't notice it for several days after arriving in Odessa, but today I ventured away from the main tourist area in mid afternoon and found alot of young people just hanging out, drinking big bottles of beer.

These young men likely won't be good candidates for marriage, thus Ukraine is one of the world's leading destinations for the foreign marriage and dating business, and of course, adoption.

But the disease is growing at an alarming rate amongst women, who now represent 35% of the alcoholic population. Shockingly, many pregnant women drink, resulting in the the growing public health crisis of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

This is a place of extreme contrasts; beauty and hopelessness

There are at least a thousand street kids living in Odessa's sewers and abandoned buildings. Despite their desperate circumstances, these boys were funny, smart and each knew some English. Apparently, the boy on the right believes in God.

As a recovered alcoholic I know that the spiritual path is the only way to healing. Please pray for this beleaguered country

Our Daughter Anastasia

2007-06-13T12:07:00.000-07:00

We are seeing some strong evidence that our 16 year old daughter is pretty darn smart. Yesterday I handed her a book before she returned to the orphanage called Speak English Like An American. It was a hasty Internet purchase I made just before our trip and I was disappointed to learn that it's one of those books that helps advanced English students learns American idioms such as "water off a ducks back." My expectations for it being useful were low, so I was curious when Anastasia returned to our apartment this morning and handed me the book with a sly smile. She had gone through almost half the book, completing every exercise in the first nine chapters!

Then Dana gave her a quickie Sudoku lesson and in a matter of minutes, she was solving puzzle after puzzle effortlessly. We were amazed at how quickly she completed the puzzles - much faster than Dana had been doing them. Dana asked Anastasia if she would give her a lesson, but Anastasia said no! She clearly enjoyed demonstrating her intelligence and skill to her new parents. While she is very shy and modest, she was clearly saying, "check this out mom and dad!"

After a trip to the toy store, she settled in to work a 1500 piece puzzle. One of my goals is that she never becomes an Americanized entertainment junkie. I love the fact that she can sit down for hours to watercolor or work on a jigsaw puzzle without having to be entertained.

Anastasia instinctively looks out for Christian. She ties his shoes, always grabs his hand when we cross the street, and seems to thrive on her big sister role. She also takes the initiative to help Dana out with grocery shopping, cooking and doing the dishes. This is one motivated girl!

Anastasia is timid around strangers, but we've observed that she is a leader in her group of friends at the orphanage. Another positive sign is that we like her friends alot. It is going to be hard for her, and us, to say goodbye to her friends - especially dear, sweet Vika.

Lady in the Rain

2007-06-12T15:10:00.000-07:00

Now we are in what is known as the "ten-day waiting period" which I just don't like the sound of. It's passive and is uninspiring after so much drama leading up to court. That is why I'm grateful for the woman in this shot. Southern Ukraine had its first rain in more than a month today. It was a huge thunderstorm that came on fast and Dana, Christian and I had to scramble for shelter with many others. It was pouring when this woman literally came dancing right down the middle of the main street! She was smiling, holding her arms out, and relishing in the moment as we all stood and cheered her on. Somehow I think she helped everyone who saw her feel a little bit more alive. You never know what you might see when you are waiting, and Odessa in the summer is a great place to do it!

Building a Family

2007-06-11T10:23:00.000-07:00

It happened today. A day earlier than expected, without much notice and without appropriate attire - we drove down to the courthouse and within a matter of minutes became a family of five. More than that - we (Jim and I) became parents of two teenage, non-English speaking, lovely, sweet, frustrating, strong-willed, Ukrainian sisters!

This picture was taken immediately after we left the courtroom. The judge was a handsome, 40ish man who wore casual slacks and a short-sleeved button down shirt (no tie). He had a charming and kind demeanor. The proceeding lasted no more than 10 or 12 minutes, but he made us feel at ease and even had us laughing. When Jim told him he was born in Texas, the judge asked him where his gun and holster was. As we left the courtroom, he gave Christian a high-five!

This is a picture of the courthouse. It was slightly less formal than we are used to in America. Not only did they sell candy and soda on the first floor, they sold beer! I resisted the urge to imbibe before court, but given the magnitude of what was happening, I may not have held back if they had sold wine.

This shot was taken before we went into the courthouse. Amazing that in just a few short minutes I would officially be the Mother to these two girls. (Although it is not completely official until after the 10 day waiting period.)

Here we go....

I wanted the girls to understand and appreciate the significance of this event. I am telling them (as Alyona, our lovely interpreter was translating) here how honored and touched I am that they want me to be their Mom.

This shot was taken outside shortly after court. The sun was shining, it was very hot and not everyone was entirely happy about taking another photo. Such is life. While I would really like to say that today was a joyous day, what surprised me most was how unemotional and anticlimactic it was. Not that it wasn't significant or important or even life-changing. It was and it is. And I am a very emotional person. But I was caught off guard by how matter-of-fact the whole affair was. Perhaps after a year and a half of waiting and working to make this happen - we are a bit drained emotionally. Or perhaps it was because we have been through this before with our Russian son. More likely however, we are reacting, like so many who have adopted before us, to the reality that we are in this for life and that it is not always pretty.

What we have learned is that although these tenacious kids can be sweet and loving, they're also frequently inflexible and ungrateful. From our experience, but mostly from sharing the stories of others who have gone before us, we have learned that they have never been taught how to respect others or control their emotions; they have never learned how to edit their thoughts or control their actions. Pouting is their automatic response to just about anything that doesn't go their way. They have been in pure survival mode for most of their precious young lives and have never learned the simple courtesies and manners we take for granted.

And so my goal is to teach these kids some basic skills that will help them be successful adults in America. This is no small task. There is a lot to learn and not much time to do it given their ages. I want to value every minute we have. I want to watch girlie movies and eat popcorn with them. I want to play games together and shop and talk and laugh with them - with my new daughters. But more importantly I want to share my hope, my faith, my values and my joy with them. I don't know if they will get it but I will try. At the very least I want them to learn to love themselves and realize that they have value in this world and that they matter. Not only to each other, or to Jim and me, but to the world at large. That they have a place here - just as much as any of us does.

Cosmic Redemption

2007-06-10T11:38:00.000-07:00

"For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God." (Romans 8:20-21)

At first glance, all appears well in this shot of a potato field just outside Odessa. But the truth is, Southern Ukraine is suffering from an unusual early-season drought after more than a month without rain. Without a good soaking very soon, much of this region's crops will be destroyed with dire consequences for a large percentage of these people who are economically strapped to begin with.

Tonight I took a twenty minute walk from our apartment to participate in a home worship service with a group of missionaries from our denomination (Presbyterian Church in America). These devoted servants have been bringing hope to the suffering people of Ukraine ever since the fall of communism and it was pure joy to be in their midst.

The sermon was a John Piper recording, and I can't think of a better preacher to hear from, just two days before I become a father to two Russian-speaking teenage girls! Piper called the verses from Romans cited above as some of the most important in the Bible for a Christian to grasp. He stressed the fact that the Bible teaches that "All of life is disordered."

It is so hard to come to Ukraine and not keep asking yourself, and God, "why, why, why?" The truth is, ever since the fall, sin has permeated all of nature! Everything from the drought to the litter of puppies I saw today on the side of busy street, nursing on top of a trash heap.

The hard part is that Paul says our God allowed it all to occur "in hope that the creation itself will be set free...and obtain the freedom of the glory of God." That freedom can be obtained by any of God's broken people as demonstrated throughout the Bible and history.

I've never forgotten a sermon by Tim Keller pointing out the fact that Matthew saw fit to include the names of women (something that was never done by Jewish scribes) in the geneology which begins his gospel story. Among them are Rahab (a prostitute) and the "wife" of Uriah (an adulteress). That geneology happens to be the geneology of Christ, so these "unclean" women are direct descendents of our Lord and Savior!

We are all broken people living in a terribly broken world and the weight of that truth has hit me hard in recent days, seeing these hurting children, and projecting about the challenges that lie ahead for me and my family. I confess to being more than a little frightened by everything that could go wrong.

What a blessing it was tonight to put this in its proper perspective. God created the world and permitted the fall of all creation, but by His grace has given us hope in His promised redemption of the entire cosmos through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Prayer Request: Rain is forecast for Tuesday and they need it desperately. Also, I just learned we could go to court Monday afternoon to finalize the adoption, followed of course by the ten day waiting period. Please pray for all to go smoothly.

Why Not Me?

2007-06-09T12:36:00.000-07:00

I intended to dedicate an entire post to Summer Camp....but ever since this little girl entered my viewfinder on our first visit, I've been struggling with something. I wasn't trying to shoot her; I knew nothing about her and did not set out to get her picture. In fact, I almost erased it because of the poor framing. But the cold stare she gave me for several seconds after the shot has left me thinking about how the presence of people like me impact these hurting children. They see dozens of Americans every year, running around with their fancy digital cameras, snapping shots of them as if they were a tourist attraction. It's another painful reminder that nobody wants them. (Hopefully, other people aren't as bad as I am about this. I take alot of pictures wherever I go.)

For some, the resentment of those who are "not chosen" is so strong, that they ridicule the kids who are about to be adopted. Yesterday Galya asked us not to spend time at the camp anymore because it is "embarrassing" and makes it difficult for her. Dana saw this herself as a group of boys walked by and yelled in an ugly tone - "Americanitz!" Galya would not admit that they were making fun of her because of Dana's presence, but a small boy next to her confirmed that it was so.

Of course none of us intend to make the pain and rejection these kids feel any worse. Many of them have had close-up pictures taken, in hopes of capturing the heart of some American, Canadian or Italian who sees them on an adoption website. Many have also been crushed after spending time with a family who had a "referral," only to never hear from them again. I know of one precious boy going through that right now.

I don't know who this cute girl is. I want to think that someone is on their way to take her home to her forever family. I hope that I'm wrong about the reasons behind her seemingly angry stare - and that she doesn't really hate me for not choosing her. Nevertheless, I'm going to be much more mindful about how my presence and my actions affect these children when I visit.

Saying Goodbye To Sisters

2007-06-08T11:10:00.000-07:00

When we first asked Galyna and Anastasia if they wanted to be adopted a year-and-a-half ago, the first thing they wanted to know was if they would be able to carry on their relationships with their three older sisters. We gave them our assurance of course, and tonight finally got to meet them. We met at our favorite restaurant and enjoyed two hours of an interpreted conversation, learning more about their family, and answering their questions about us.

Shura (on right) is the next oldest in age at 19. She spent many years in the same orphange, but was forced to leave at 14 because of overcrowding. Shura remained quiet throughout dinner, but her love for her little sisters was clear as she listened carefully to everything being said.

Put Galya and Nastya together and you get......Svetlana! Known to her sisters as Sveta, she is 21 and also lived a long time at the orphanage. Everything about Sveta's demeanor is sweet and gentle as shown by her easy, warm smile.

Irina is the oldest at 28 and a half-sister. She presided over the meeting and made clear early on that she is the mother figure in their lives. We were impressed with this woman, who openly discussed the alcoholism, abandonment and constant tragedy her family has endured.

Their mother died six years ago of kidney disease associated with alcoholism and the father of the four youngest girls abandoned them, never to be seen again. We were told by officials in Kyiv that he "led an immoral life." Neither of our girls ever had a relationship with their parents.

Irina politely asked us why we couldn't have children, and why we wanted to adopt her teenage sisters. She listened with obvious concern to our answers, and expressed sincere gratitude, admitting at one point that she was just not able to care for all of her sisters.

We enjoyed some lighthearted moments as well as she advised us to be firm and strict!

I couldn't help but wonder what the sisters were thinking, especially Shura, who is only three years older than Nastya.

This will probably be the last time they are all together before we leave. Please pray for the well being of these women, who are undoubtedly experiencing some mixed emotions as they prepare to say goodbye to their little sisters, perhaps for a very long time.

Orphanage #4

2007-06-07T14:43:00.000-07:00

Pictures simply don't provide a good sense of how it feels to be at this place. I almost didn't use this shot because from this perspective, it doesn't look that much different from an old public school building back home. Efforts are made to make it more inviting, but the truth is this is a rundown old building most of us could never imagine having to live in.

The dining hall

The children have absolutely no privacy in their rooms, which sleep four.

I was surprised to see how much freedom they have to leave the premises. I saw several kids walking around the blighted neighborhood surrounding the internot.

But they have no money to go out and do things, so they end up doing alot of this.

Upkeep in the play areas and courtyards is sorely lacking.

I saw this tattered soccer goal as being symbolic of the broken world we all live in.

This is their TV room. There's no air conditioning anywhere making it very hot and musty in the summer and the enormous size of the complex makes it hard to heat in the winter.

New Soviet Woman

2007-06-07T14:20:00.000-07:00

Comrade Danissa Buckmanovich Haleotsova make for you legal employment protections for small amount of kopecks

The Pearl Of The Black Sea

2007-06-06T12:24:00.000-07:00

Now that we have our court date for next Tuesday, here are some shots and impressions after our first week in this wild and wonderful city!

Odessa is still in the best-kept secret category in the West, but make no mistake, this is a beautiful city. On our first morning, I was stunned as I walked down the street, turned the corner, and saw this Opera House! Surprisingly, Odessa is only 200 years old, and I'm not kidding, Paris doesn't have much on this place. A German gentleman who is staying in our apartments says he thinks Odessa will soon rival the French Riviera as a tourist destination.

This exquisite park is right across the street from our apartments. If you're coming to Odessa for adoption, you're going to be here for several weeks and you might as well enjoy it. I highly recommend staying in the central tourist district. We are very happy with our apartment. See here.

Odessa City Council meets in the Old Soviet Headquarters building.

Odessa is a great walking city, and has a truly international flavor, as this statue of its first governor demonstrates, France's Duke Richelieu.

Turn around to get this view of the Black Sea.

Fashions in Odessa, are, shall we say.....

Immodest! These shoes are typically accompanied by a very tight, very short skirt, short or pants. What is amazing is how much walking they do in this footwear. But you don't see any of the natives in Tevas or Birkenstocks. Think of Odessa as the anti-Portland!

Christian is having a blast! Odessa is very kid friendly with lots of fun parks and playgrounds

My little man ascending the famous Potemkin Steps.

Nastia, Dana and friend Tania strolling along the boulevard.

Ukrainian food has been one of the nicest suprises. They've always considered themselves to be more cultured than the Russians and I can vouch for that when it comes to cooking. It's excellent, and inexpensive.

It's also nice to be in a country where Americans are treated with respect!

One of the first things you notice are stray animals everywhere.

Dogs like this wild looking Dingo hybrid roam the streets and alleyways.

Ukrainians are some of the most naturally beautiful people in the world.

But sadly, this is how most of them live. You don't have to drive far before seeing the decay and depressed living conditions.

Most Americans would call this slum living, but I've noticed something interesting. Many of the people who live like this are hard working, well educated, cultured people who would thrive in America. Yet I don't get the feeling that they are clamoring to leave. They know their country is struggling, but they are proud of it and they carry themselves with dignity and a distinctive style.

We have fallen in love with Ukraine and its hearty people. Please pray for them.

Nowhere To Go

2007-06-05T12:53:00.000-07:00

While this is such a joyful time for our family, nothing can prepare you for visiting the orphanage and seeing the faces of all the other kids who have no one to care about them. The sad truth is that very few of the these children will ever realize their dream of having a family. The gorgeous young lady pictured above was suddenly orphaned two years ago when both of her parents died. I'm told she is "brilliant," studying both English and French, and excelling in all her courses. But the future for her, and thousands of other older orphans is frightening. A large percentage turn to prostitution, crime, and ultimately, suicide.

A handful of wonderful people donate their time loving and nurturing these kids. Others spend their time and resources doing everything they can to find families to adopt them. But thanks to the efforts of a stouthearted American woman named Clara Pascal, there is hope for children who age out of the orphanage, with no hope of adoption. Clara's program is called the Orphaned Teen Scholarship Program. Please take a moment to read about it here.

Seen here explaining the program to Dana, Clara focuses on the kids who are about to, or already have "graduated" from the orphanage. Each child is asked to write a profile of themselves as an appeal to a potential sponsor. One girl writes:

My father died in an automobile accident when my mother was pregnant with me. In 1997 when I was finishing the 1st grade, my grandmother died because of Liver Cirrhosis. For that moment, my mother lived with a man. He lived with mother for ten years and I considered him as my father. He brought me up and taught me like a father does his own child. In 2000, he died. After that my mother began to take alcohol and because of it died in 2004. I believe in God and trust Him in complicated situations and He often hears and helps me. I read the Bible. I ask you, dear sponsor, your help and support. I ask to understand me in a difficult moment, to share my success and failures and to be my friend. Thank you in advance.

As important as the $57 monthly donation is to help meet their basic needs, these older teenagers desperately want to know someone cares about them. You can read more of their profiles here.

Vika is one of our Nastia's best friends. She aged out of the orphanage a year ago and is a great candidate for Clara's program. Vika is sweet, motivated and loved by all. But without help, her future is grim.

Volva is a precious 14 year-old boy who greets us happily every time we see him. I have not been able to forget Volva's smile since first meeting him. He is one of many faces we will hate to leave behind when we head back to our comfortable middle class life style in the states.

The Puzanov Family Of Odessa

2007-06-04T13:23:00.000-07:00

As we are quickly learning, Odessa has a world-class reputation for fun and the main reason is that its people live with tremendous gusto. Dana, Christian and I got an authentic taste of that famous spirit by spending an unforgettable evening of fellowship with the extraordinary Puzanov family on Sunday night.

Their Baptist roots go back to the 19th century, and they endured extreme hardship and persecution throughout the 20th. Father Valeriy (2nd row, 2nd on right) spent five years with his father (a pastor) in a Siberian labor camp for the "counter-revolutionary" crime of believing in God and refusing to be re-educated.

This was during the time that Soviet dictator Nikita Kruschev boasted that he would banish the last Christian in the Soviet Union to Siberia, and broadcast that event when it happened. Thanks be to God, Kruschev failed miserably, as demonstrated by the faithful Puzanovs, all of whom are involved in orphan ministry and demonstrating daily what it means to "Do justice, love mercy and walk humbly with God."

Valeriy works 6-7 days a week on the church-owned farm that provides for 30 orphans. With his own hands, he built the orphanage, church and seminary.

Alyona gives Dana a lesson in making Pelmeeni.....

a homemade flour dumpling filled with delicious sausage and served with dripping butter!

Mama Ludmilla passing on the tradition

This was a night we will cherish forever

Anatoly is the youngest family member and hilarious. He does Elvis impersonations, sings in the church choir and is an excellent graphic designer who has done some fine work for adoptive families.

Daughter Tania has college degrees from Ukraine and Mississippi! She speaks fluent English and teaches at Orphanage #4.

One of the fringe benefits of the international adoption experience is meeting, and getting to know fine people like Alyona and Slava, our interpreter and driver. We have quickly come to adore this hard working young couple, and are humbled to have experienced the amazing hospitality of this wonderful family.

May God continue to pour out his blessings upon them all.

Sunday in Odessa

2007-06-03T23:26:00.000-07:00

Sunday was a wonderful day in Odessa. It started with our driver and friend Slava bringing Anastasia from the orphanage to go to church with us. I wondered what she would wear because she does not have any dresses - and furthermore, she hates them. She made that abundantly clear when I (Dana) took her shopping in the states. No matter how sweet, pretty or fun the dress I showed her, she would give me a curt and emphatic "nyet" accompanied by a sour face and a determined shake of the head. Her distaste was clear. Jim and I got many laughs when we would come home from the store and pretend we had bought her a "beautiful new dress!" She would frown at first and then break into a beautiful smile when she realized we were teasing her.

So I was shocked and surprised when I opened the apartment door and saw my Anastasia in a lovely dress, complete with panty-hose, purse and matching shoes! She looked absolutely radiant and smiled large in response to our wide-eyes and effusive praise. We were touched beyond belief. This simple action by our new daughter - made at no small personal sacrifice by her - demonstrated her love for us and her desire to please us. The clothes were not her own, but were borrowed from her teacher, Tatiana. Anastasia honored us greatly with this gesture. It was a lovely nod to Jim and me because we are well aware of how much she dislikes such dress. It also showed that she is willing to make an effort to be a part of her new family. It was truly a blessed moment.

After we calmed down from the excitement, we walked over to the Presbyterian church where we attended services with Michelle Maly, a missionary from Nebraska who has devoted her life to working with the orphans at Internot #4 - the orphanage where our girls have spent the last 10 or so years of their lives. Michelle is a real blessing to the children, teaching them dance and other crafts as she demonstrates God's love to them. She is, like many others we have met here, an amazing and dedicated Christian and a true blessing to the children.

The church was full of young people, including a youth choir which performed some familiar hymns and contemporary praise songs. To hear their young voices sing familiar songs in Russian accompanied by acoustic guitar was very moving.

Headphones provided us with an excellent English translation (this church is home to many missionaries, and a favorite amongst adoptive families). Taking the Lord's supper with our Ukrainian brothers and sisters reminded us that our bond as Christians is greater and more important than any national pride or affinity.

After church we took Michelle to lunch at a traditional Ukrainian restaurant. The waitstaff was dressed in Ukrainian garb with the girls wearing flowered head wreathes and the boys wearing straw hats.

The food was excellent. In fact, one of the most pleasant surprises during our trip has been the authentic Ukrainian cuisine which is both affordable and delicious. I'm hoping that Anastasia, who likes to cook, will bring some of this tradition home with us!

More Than An Art Teacher

2007-06-02T12:57:00.000-07:00

This woman is very special to our family. We first met Svetlana last summer when she served as a summer hosting chaperone, and we were fortunate enough to host her for two weeks in our home. She is the art teacher at Orphanage #4, but that wouldn't begin to describe what she has meant to our girls, and hundreds of other orphans. In these bleak surroundings, Svetlana helps these heartbroken children see beauty in the world, and inspires them to create it. Our Nastia has been a constant presence in Svetlana's art room for the past 11 years. We could fill up a gallery with work our older daughter has been making since she was five years old. I was stunned to see quality of the art these kids produce, as seen in these gifts Nastia presented to Dana.

Galya gave me a beautiful cross-stitched Angel card. Inside it read: "We love you Dad. Your daughters Anastasia and Galya."

Christian was thrilled to get framed cross-stiches too!

Here are some fine examples of Nastia's art

Saying goodbye to Svetlana is going to be hard

Orphanage Visit

2007-06-01T12:28:00.000-07:00

Today was our first visit to the orphanage, where Galyna and Anastasia have lived for most of their young lives. It was a much drearier place than I had expected. But seeing our beautiful girls respond to our visit with such happiness removed any shock I might have felt over seeing their surroundings. Again, our time together was very limited as we had much paperwork to tend to. Earlier in the day, we signed notarized documents which will officially change their names to: Galyna Abramovich Hale and Anastasia Abramovich Hale. We now eagerly await assignment of our court date, when we will officially become a family of five!

My little Galyna hasn't grown much since last summer. Mom, send the Chicken Fried Steak recipe!

Anastasia with her friend Masha. One of the many children waiting for a family.

Two stellar members of "Team Oleg" here. As this shot indicates, Alyona and Slava are a couple and just plain fascinating people. She is our interpreter/facilitator in Odessa, and Slava is our driver, something that requires very special skills (more on the wild driving here later).

They are part of a surprising number of Protestants in Odessa. Both are Baptists (they've got us Presbyterians outnumbered here too!) and until recently, that meant you were a person with "dangerous superstitions" in the totalitarian eyes of the former Soviet Union.

Slava's Baptist grandfather and father were sent away to a labor camp in Siberia for refusing to undergo re-education. Every day when you walk down the streets in this country you are surrounded by thousands of other men and women just like them. Seldom in the West do we stop to consider that the greatest persecution the Christian Church has ever known took place in the previous century, as Stalin alone is estimated to have slaughtered 20 million of his own people, many of whom were Christians that were singled out for refusing to renounce their faith.

Odessa was also once home to the largest Jewish population of Eastern Europe, but were nearly wiped out by Hitler and Stalin. This country has undergone massive pain and suffering for centuries. But in the midst of it all, these Ukrainians are a spirited and friendly people. And oh yes, very proud!

They play France tomorrow in a big soccer game and you know who I'll be rooting for!