Book Recommendations

"If you don't read good books, you will read bad ones."

-C.S. Lewis

I finished reading Nicholas and Alexandra several days ago and haven't stopped thinking about it. Much of my reading is devoted to biography and history and this extraordinary story of Russia's last Tsar, World War I, and the Russian Revolution, has to be the finest book in this category I've ever read. It is also one of Dana's favorites, and she rarely reads history.

I studied about the Soviet Union before we adopted Christian from Russia, so I've always been intrigued by its fascinating history, but this book put things in perspective better than anything I've come across.

Robert Massie writes with great respect for the Russian people and with all the flair of a great novelist. I don't think I've ever responded to a book so emotionally as he describes the tragedy surrounding the Romanovs and Russia's descent into the bloodbath of the 20th Century. His prose is plain, but beautiful and I guarantee you won't be disappointed.

I also highly recommend his Pulitzer Prize winning biography of Peter The Great. Even if you are strictly a fiction reader, don't hesitate to check out either of these incredible books. The stories are better than any novelist could dare to imagine. Nothing comes close to the real-life drama of Russian history.

Both of these books are fast paced, supreme reading experiences which will help you better understand the tumultous part of the world where our adopted children are from.

Sensory Integration Disorder

This is perhaps the most personal thing I've ever posted because it's very hard for me to write about things we struggle with. Because blogging is so public, there are things you just don't talk talk about here. But one of things I love about the adoption blogging community is that it is so encouraging and supportive, and it is in that spirit I am sharing our experience with this baffling topic.

If you are adopting a child from Eastern Europe, I urge you to educate yourself about Sensory Integration Disorder. This is something our precious son has, as do most children who were "cribbed" for long periods of time without nurturning or stimulation of any kind. It is also common to children who were born prematurely and were incubated. I don't think either one of our older adopted children have this problem, as they did not go to the orphanage until age five.



Earlier this year, Christian's Montessori teacher sugggested we have him tested for this. We quickly ordered books she suggested such as The Out of Sync Child, and instantly realized that there was a name for some of Christian's peculiar behavior.



I mention this being so personal because after learning about this, I knew that I had not been the great parent I thought I was. What I thought was disobedience many times was not. He does not like to wear short sleeve shirts, or shorts, even when it's 100 degrees outside. He would much rather sweat.



At six years old, he is still afraid to ride a bicyle, or even sit on his tractor. Instead, he pushes his tractor all over the yard, but if I suggest he rides, he becomes frantic with fear.

He still tries to find ways to stimulate himself, just as he rocked himself in his crib five years ago. The funny position he's in while watching TV is an example of that. There are many, many other symptoms and odd behaviors associated with Sensory Integration Disorder. Please read about it now, even if you feel certain that your adopted child is OK. Christian sees an occupational therapist weekly, and we are much relieved that we finally have some tools to use in helping our sweet boy. Also be advised that this is something many teachers, doctors and therapists are not aware of. It gets misdiagnosed all the time as ADHD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, or even autism.


Also a word to Christian parents who rightly want to raise their children "Biblically." I've read Dobson's book about raising a strong willed child, and Ted Tripp's "Shepherdering A Child's Heart." Both good books, but I must say that I failed my son badly by using the Dobson/Tripp discipline model for Christian for more than four years.



These guys are big on spanking and make a sound Biblical case for it. But spanking a child with Sensory Integration Disorder, who is screaming because he doesn't want to put on a short sleeve shirt is counter productive to say the least. He or she is not being disobedient! Please read about this and you'll understand.



When I learned that many kids with this don't like to wear short sleeves, I cried. I had spanked Christian many times when he refused to wear short sleeves because I thought he was being disobedient. I was wrong and I'm afraid I did much harm. I am a professing Christian believer, but I warn you that you will get alot of unsolicited and bad advice from well meaning Christians on how to discipline your adopted child. My advice is to throw out Dobson and Tripp, and learn about this very real affliction.

We are now moving forward, and optimistic that we can help Christian to thrive in this broken and disordered world. Now that we know about this, we are much better equipped to do that.

Congratulations Slava and Alyona!

No, these are not Ukrainian movie stars! Slava and Alyona served as our adoption team in Odessa, but soon became our friends and now they are husband and wife. I spent alot of time with this couple and was struck by how much they focused on their ministry together (read about it here). They weren't preoccupied with buying a big house or moving up in their careers, but with how much they could help the poor children of a small town near Odessa. We pray for all God's blessings upon their ministry and marriage.


We had the privilege of getting to know most of the amazing Puzanov family and wish we could've been there to celebrate with them! So Tolik, who's the young lady?

Halloween

Cat Woman and Captian Hook on the loose!

Happy Birthday Anastasia!

Our sweet Anastasia is 17 years old! We've now celebrated all three of our children's October birthdays. Nastia's having some friends from school come over on Friday for a bigger party, but last night we had our family celebration.

Nastia sees the world through the eyes of an artist. Lately I've been teaching her the art of how to loiter in a bookstore, and recently she sat down at Barnes & Noble and leafed all the way through this big book about Leonardo da Vinci.

She's also got a great eye for photography. I've encouraged her to start up her own blog now that she has a new digital camera! Happy Birthday Sweetheart....we love you!

Happy Birthday Christian Peter!

Today our beautiful son is six years old. Christian Peter came into our lives five years ago, when he was adopted from a small town outside Moscow, Russia. The joy that our "little man" has brought into our lives is beyond description. He is truly the funniest child I've ever seen and he never ceases to amaze us with his relentless curiousity and love of learning.

Each year on his birthday, I always pray for and give thanks to God for the woman who chose to give him life. I wish I could let her know how grateful we are, and I pray that God will pour his love and mercy out on her.

Not only have we had the privilege of being Christian's parents, it was the gift of his adoption that has transformed the way we see our lives.

Today we know that we are an adoptive family because this is what God has intended for us all along. Christian knows he is a beloved child of God and he has a wonderful way of demonstrating that love to all the special people in his life, such as "Papa Herb."

Happy Birthday Galyna!

It's so hard to believe that it's been almost two years since little Galyna first came to visit us for Christmas in 2005. She was teeny-tiny, and looked like she was perhaps eight or nine years old. This weekend, we celebrated her 14th birthday! She is a beautiful girl who loves life and has embraced her new country. Before the party she asked me not to speak any Russian as she now wants her identity to be American. We've been home less than three months and this young lady is thriving.


I've never seen a child who loves animals more than Galyna. She's been asking for a dog since day one, but we let her know early on that adding a dog to the mix would just be too much for our family right now. So......

Hello rats!!! One of Galyna's teachers gave a hearty endorsement to pet rats and I was surprised to learn from pet store employees that rats make great pets. They are the most intelligent of all small pets and easy to take care of. Did you know that rats can learn tricks and even remember their names? Galyna was ecstatic! She named her new pets Ashley and Gabriella.

Seven of her classmates helped her celebrate her first American birthday and they had a blast!

Ellen kept us laughing all night long!

Jailene and Anna provided impromptu song and dance
Galyna won't forget this Birthday!

We are so grateful for the kind of young women who've befriended our daughters. Katrina and Margaret helped make this a very special weekend.

Cate is hilarious and quite talented as she writes and sings her own songs!

Galyna doing some High School Musical moves

Our 14 year old daughter with Chris and Deborah Winans.

Happy Birthday sweetheart...We love you!