Family Reunion!

Oh my, what a joyful day this has been! Our arrival coincides with the end of the school year, so we found them today having a big party on the beach. We wanted to surprise them, but Nastia saw us, and ran up and gave us the sweetest hug you could imagine.


We were so touched that she was wearing the "Sweet 16" necklace we gave her for her birthday last October. She wore it on the side that said "Love, Mom and Dad." This is one very sweet girl.

True to form, little Galina was out swimming when we arrived, and we had to wait a bit to celebrate with her. But she couldn't hide her big, beautiful smile the entire afternoon.

She and Christian picked up right where they left off.....

while Nastia gave her little brother his first dip in the Black Sea!

The Mysterious Oleg

Here he is - the man responsible for orchestrating adoptions for dozens of American families every year. When I finally met the man whom I had corresponded with for the past year-and-a-half, Oleg was not what I expected. I had come to think of him as a sort of Wizard of Oz. He existed only in the form of his cryptic emails from a faraway land and he just did not fit the image I had.

The first thing that struck me about him was his gentle spirit. But while he seems very quiet and reserved, you could instantly tell that he commands respect from the SDA workers and other adoption facilitators. He was answering calls from two cell phones and apparently doing about a dozen different things at once as we stood waiting outside.

Something about his demeanor made me feel complete confidence in his ability to handle everything and indeed he did. When they told us that we would have to "come back tommorow" for our referral for the girls, somehow I just knew we would get it later that day. And sure enough, Oleg came through. He hustled us off to the train station and we were riding the rails to Odessa in a matter of hours!

Arrival in Beautiful Kyiv

We made it! I am writing on Thursday morning from Odessa, where we just arrived after taking the overnight train from Kiev. Our reunion with the girls will happen soon. Meanwhile, here are some glimpses of the ancient, stunningly beautiful city of Kiev.

St. Mikhayil's Monastery of the Golden Domes looms over one end of Kiev's main street.

Christian cools off in the fountains at Independence Square!


At St. Andrei's Church, Dana lights a candle in blessed memory of sister Carla, as I did for my nephew Chad. Entering these ancient Orthodox Churches is a profoundly humbling experience. Ukrainians worship God with great reverence and awe (note the woman bowing). These people have endured much pain and suffering throughout the centuries, but their faith is alive and well.

Dana and Christian at St. Andrei's.

The Orphans of Ukraine

For the past year and a half, these beautiful young ladies have been known to us as "the girls." It's overwhelming when I think that in a matter of days, they will be my daughters. Anastasia and Galyna have spent most of their lives in that building behind them. When they touch down at Kennedy Airport sometime in July, they will automatically become American citizens!

If all goes well, that will happen sometime in early July. We will be spending Monday through Wednesday in Kyiv (The US State Department has officially changed the spelling from the Russian "Kiev" to the Ukrainian "Kyiv" -- just another exuse to make Putin mad!).

This will likely be our last post before we arrive in Odessa on Thursday, where we'll have high-speed internet at our apartment. Meanwhile please take a look at this brief video to learn more about the plight of Ukrainian orphans.

About A Boy

The miracle of adoption began for us in Krasnogorsk, Russia on October 7, 2002 - the day that has forever changed our lives.

As any couple knows that discovers they can't have biological children, it is a soul-numbing, crushing blow, made even worse by the fact that outside of close family and friends, you mostly suffer in silence (especially for the wife). No days off for bereavement and no sympathy from those who don't know what you're going through. This isn't something you want to announce. We grieved for many months before even thinking about adoption. Truthfully, it seemed like a poor consolation at the time. Both of us grew weary of people offering advice like , "there's always adoption!" They were always well intentioned, but it didn't help. Finally, when we began to look into adoption, we got the fever and quickly got excited about it.

Once we settled on Russia and found an agency we loved (Catholic Social Services of North Carolina), it took exactly nine months for us to become parents to this amazing little boy! The spirit he shows in the shot with Dana immediately captured my heart. The second I laid my eyes on him, I knew that he was my son.

But even more powerful was the awareness of something much greater. That this was what God had planned for us all along. We had only been in the room for a couple of minutes when our adoption worker asked, "So, do you like the boy?" Without hesitating I said, "I love him....this is my son....we'll take him!" When we returned to our hotel room in Moscow that night, we cried tears of indescribable joy.

There was never a doubt then or since. We can both say honestly that we are actually grateful for our inability to have biological children. There is simply no way a child could be more loved by his mommy and daddy, not to mention grandparents, aunt and uncles, and beloved friends throughout Virginia.

Christian Peter (or CP as he prefers) is a child full of wonder who loves to laugh and make others laugh. When we lived in Alexandria, he could make even the most hardened Metro rider smile. He's been surrounded by people of many cultures and languages, and has taken his Montessori education to heart by showing great enthusiasm for geography, art, and the natural world.

With all the excitement of this week's countdown to our long awaited departure, Dana and I have reflected on the incredible blessing of the past four and a half years with our son. He is a precious gift, and I give thanks to God daily for the way our little boy has changed every aspect of our lives.

Now, once again, everything is about to change and we know that what we're doing won't be easy. But our pastor is always reminding us that "the gospel should change everything," and that it should "compel us to take risks."

Lord, have mercy.

Older Child Adoption

Many people express surprise and indeed much concern over the issue of adopting "out of order," or, adopting kids older than the ones you already have. Conventional wisdom warns against doing this, as instant competition from an older child creates a threatening environment.

However, because Christian and Galyna are 8 years apart (and Anastasia 11), we feel this will be less of an issue, versus a situation where the children were much closer in years. In most cases, they won't be competing for the same things and their interests are much different.

Both girls were very attentive to Christian during their trips to Virginia, and for the most part, they got along well. But, by the end of last summer, Christian was walking around the house announcing, "I want those girls back to Ukraine!!!"

His heart has changed though, and now he's psyched about the trip and seeing "the girls" again.

The biggest adjustment will no doubt be for Mommy and Daddy! After we adopted Christian we knew we wanted to adopt more children. We travelled twice to Russia to get him nearly five years ago, and have had a heart for that part of the world ever since.

But why older kids? When most of us think of adoption, the first thing that comes to mind is a beautiful baby (interestingly, 80% of international adoptions are for girls), or perhaps a toddler.

But now that we're in our mid-forties, it would be perfectly natural for us to have teenage kids.
If we adopted another one year old, we would be close to 60 when they were starting high school.

Because we were late starting our family, it just makes sense for us to give older kids a chance. The sad fact is that kids over the age of 5 have only a 20% chance of being adopted. I don't know what the stats are for teenagers, but it's got to be much worse.

Most of us have heard some bad stories about families who've taken the risk to adopt an older child, and experienced great hardship. But, the good news is that many, many other families have gone before us, and excellent resources are available to those who are curious.
It is a risk, but there are many more positive outcomes than bad ones. And think about this. Even if they do have a tough time over here, what would their lives be like over there?

Stay tuned. We'll post more later on that and how you can help spread the word about older child adoption. The countdown is on. Christian has his Montessori school graduation Friday, and we head out Sunday morning!

Galyna

Galyna is a little firecracker! She is a spirited, funny and athletically gifted 13 year old who was barely 70 pounds when she left last summer. The first time she had ever picked up a baseball bat, she nearly took my head off with a linedrive. Same thing on the bicyle. She was cruising around the block in a matter of minutes.

When we went to the beach last summer, I was amazed watching her comfortably interact with other kids. She grabbed a boogie board and bravely faced some nasty waves breaking right on the shore. A couple of times she disappeared under water and went right back out for more punishment. This little girl is one tough cookie!

The highlight of Galya's summer was learning how to horseback ride. She attended a two week camp and instantly fell in love with the sport. Seeing her sitting on that horse, riding so gracefully and smiling so proudly, is the enduring image of the nearly three months we spent together.

Every time we've corresponded, she's always asked about "Terry" the horse. Not surprisingly, Galya also showed great potential as an ice skater. She's not as academically enthusiastic as her sister, but she is also very smart and capable.

Our prayer request for Galya is for God to give her motivation to work hard on her English lessons, and a desire to follow the rules!

posted by jim

Anastasia

These are some of my favorite pictures taken last summer of Anastasia, whom we usually call Nastia (pronounced "NY-shta"). She is a beautiful 16 year old, who has been living in the Ukrainian orphanage system since she was five. As you can see by her warm smile, she is naturally sweet and extremely bright. She excels in school at the orphanage, and demonstrated her ability in the summer when she scored 100 on her ESL test.



It was incredible to see how much she had developed from her first visit with us during Christmas 2005. She didn't make eye contact with me (Jim) for the first week, and rarely showed any positive response to anything or anyone. But I saw a glimpse of her sweet heart toward the end of that first trip. I'll never forget that on her last night, Christian woke up in the middle of the night screaming. By the time I had gotten to his room, she was already there, comforting him instinctively. She is going to be a great big sister to her little brother!

While she was here, she discovered that she shares our family's love of reading! I say she discovered this because when she first arrived, she told us that she hates to read (ugh!).
But a trip to the eye doctor proved why as her exam revealed profound far sightedness.

Soon she was glued to her Russian translations of Harry Potter for most of the day, and night. Several times I found her reading late into the wee hours of the morning, the true test of a book lover!

Unlike her sister, Nastia is not a big sports enthusiast (except for ice skating lessons with the dashing Dima!). She prefers to do cross-stitch, read, and, we're happy to report, cook! We can't wait to see her again. In her recent letters, she has begun to pour her heart out, describing her hopes, dreams and fears in a beautiful way.

Please pray that God will give Nastia much courage to face her fears about living in a new culture and give her confidence to express the lovely young woman He made her to be.


posted by jim

Frontier Horizon and Vinny

The man in this photo is Vincent Rosini, aka Vinny. Vinny is the director of Frontier Horizon, a Virginia Beach, Va based humanitarian organization which brings kids from Ukraine and Nicaragua to America on what are commonly referred to as "hosting" trips.

This is how we met our girls, and dozens of other families throughout the country have hosted kids they eventually adopted as well. Our first hosting experience occured Christmas 2005, when we first met Galya and Nastya, and decided to adopt them at the end of that 2 1/2 week trip.

Summer hosting opportunties are almost always longer, and last year we were able to be together with our girls for 2 1/2 months! To my knowledge, no other organization has this arrangement. I don't know how Vinny pulled this off, but it proved to be an incredible blessing for our family, as we got a taste of what it's like to be a family of five.

A straight talking New Yorker, Vinny makes a strong impression to say the least. He is a professing Christian, but unlike most Christians you run in to. If you don't want an honest answer, don't ask him. He will tell you exactly what he thinks and quite often it is not what you want to hear (again, he's a New Yorker). Fiftysomething I'd guess, he's never married and I'm told he doesn't intend to. I've heard he drives around in a old car, and rents a modest apartment in Virginia Beach. He has dedicated his life to the Lord's service, working with the world's most neglected children.

He earned a PHD at Regent University, where he regularly lectures grad students on his theology of mercy ministry and I'm told his lectures are characteristically blunt and provocative.

On the issue of adoption, Vinny makes clear that not all of these kids are well suited for adoption and he strongly urges some families not to adopt particular children in favor of sponsoring them through college in Ukraine. This comes as quite a shock to some families, especially those who feel that it is God's will for them to adopt the child they are hosting.

Hosting through FH, or similar organizations is not perfect and in fact is quite controversial. Critics point to cases where kids came to America, had a great time, expected to be adopted, and for some reason, were not. I know of one heartbreaking story where a boy was hosted twice by a family, learned he was not going to be adopted, and soon thereafter ran away from the oprhanage.

Some host families who do go onto adopt have a very rocky road, and Vinny pulls no punches in describing these situations. It's a gamble. You never know how these kids will react once they attempt to transition into a totally different world, complete with rules and expectations to follow those rules. I've heard of some terribly painful stories.

But I know of many more positive outcomes, and I pray that we will be in that category.

You can read more about the hosting and adoption experience on the FH website: www.frontierhorizon.org Look for the link to the New York times feature article, which quotes Vinny and a FH family.

Three Week Countdown

The reality that we will be leaving in less than three weeks to embark on a life altering trip is exciting and anxiety producing to say the least. Of course the purpose is to give two young ladies an opportunity to alter their lives for the better, and that helps put our worries in check.

We first heard about Galyna and year old Anastasia Abramovich shortly after moving to the Richmond area a year and a half ago. We had left our life in Northern Virginia behind because we wanted to adopt more children and reduce the stress of big city living.

Bringing Christian Peter into our lives four years ago has brought us more joy than we ever dreamed of. But we didn't want him to be an only child. The "girls" as we call them, first visited us in Christmas 2005, as part of the Frontier Horizon hosting program. It took us awhile to get to know each other, but we felt confident enough at the end of that visit to ask them if they wanted to be adopted.

In classic Ukrainian style, they shrugged and said, "Da" (yes). Our hopes of brining them back home in a few short months proved naive, and they returned last summer for a much longer "hosting" visit. Somehow, the folks at Frontier Horizon made arrangements for them to stay almost the entire summer.

We actually experienced what it is like to be a family of five. We got to know them and appreciate them as individuals, and got a glimpse of what our lives will be like when we all return this summer as a family.

Through numerous disappointing delays and heartbreaking false alarms for the girls, we have our long awaited appointment in Kyiv on May 30th, and will leave for Odessa shortly after.

This posting will be the first that many of you have heard about this. We are so grateful for all the love and support we've had ever since our journey began way back when. Your prayers are coveted as we prepare to head east!