Why Not Boys?

One of the hardest things about the Ukrainian adoption experience is you spend alot of time around your adopted children's friends and you leave them behind knowing most will never be adopted, especially in the case of boys. This is unfortunate.

Why is it that 80 percent of adoptions are of girls? My theory is that, in most cases, the mom is the one pushing the adoption, and moms are more likely to want a girl. Also, the conventional wisdom is that boys are more trouble and a much greater risk. Let's face it, we get a bum rap.

But that is a serious misperception according to Vinny Rosini of Frontier Horizon. I will always grateful to him for being honest about this. Vinny says that by far, the most difficult category is post-pubescent girls. Without a doubt, they have the most post adoption problems. Despite this, you see them being adopted all the time, while few families ever consider adopting an older boy.

We saw Volva almost every day, and it hurt so much to see his precious smile, knowing that he was losing hope of finding a family. I'd love to see him get adopted, and am confident he would thrive. The few boys I'm familiar with who've been adopted from Ukraine are doing very well indeed, and I met many in Odessa who I immediately liked and felt would transition well in America.

I'll never forget walking past this group of boys at Orphanage #4. They were just hanging out with nothing to do, and I walked by them with my camera, on my way to an outing with our girls. As we exchanged head nods, I couldn't help imagining what they were thinking. Like, "What's wrong with me....why do you rich Americans only come over here and adopt pretty girls?"

These boys are smart, healthy, talented, and have so much potential. It breaks my heart to think about their bleak futures.

We have been very lucky because our daughters are doing great and we love them dearly. But if we ever go back, I'm going to lobby for a boy. If you are considering adopting an older child and haven't made up your mind, please think about giving one of these boys a chance.