The "Problem" of Shyness

Is there something wrong with being shy? The Publishers Weekly review of Shyness: How Normal Behavior Became a Sickness, sums up the theme of this controversial book:

"Before you sell a drug, you have to sell the disease. And never was this truer than for social anxiety disorder," concludes English professor and Guggenheim fellow Christopher Lane in this scathing indictment of the American Psychiatric Association and the psychopharmacological industry. "

I probably won't read this book, but I heard a fascinating interview with the author on the excellent Mars Hill Audio Journal. The topic is of great interest to Dana and me as one of our daughters is extremely shy, well beyond the usual sullenness demonstrated by many adopted older children early on.

But Lane says "Wait a second!!!" Shyness used to be a virtue, especially for young ladies! They called it modesty, and your modest children do not need to be medicated! He points out that the bias against shyness is particularly problematic in America, where we put a premium on gregariousness.

When I heard him say that, I immediately thought of being in Moscow five years ago when we adopted Christian. Every morning we gathered in a huge dining hall for breakfast, and marveled as we observed how easy it was to spot an American (or Canadian) from a mile away! The Yanks and Canucks were always smily and chatty, while the Russians were typically dour, unexpressive and just plain unfriendly, at least at first glance (this is especially troubling for a Texan!). I was secretely thinking, "What's wrong with these people?"

Of course those who grew up in the Soviet Union had to be very careful about being open to strangers, but the fact is most people in the world just aren't nearly as extroverted as Americans, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with them.

That is something I've had to learn when it comes to my shy daughter. She doesn't immediately seek to ingratiate herself to everyone she meets (like me) and I frequently find myself getting frustrated at her seeming lack of social graces.

Maybe I could learn something from her?

The Persecuted Church

Just about everyone's heard of the genocide in Darfur being carried out by the Islamic Arab regime in Sudan. Less well known is a similar campaign of terror and mass murder that targeted Sudan's Christians in the South (the Darfur victims are black Muslims).

God Grew Tired Of Us is the shocking, yet ultimately uplifting story of a group of young men known as the Lost Boys. Thousands of them became refugees in the late 1980's with absolutely no one in the world to turn to. They walked literally thousands of miles to refugee camps, first in Ethiopia, then Kenya.

This fine documentary follows a group that gets to come to America. They had never used electricity their entire lives! This is a great movie for internationally adopted teenage children. Our daughters watched with fascination as the young Africans saw a refrigerator and a toaster for the first time. I don't think they ever realized that some people in the world actually have it alot worse than they did in Ukraine.

Most compelling to me was to see America through the eyes of strong Christian believers, who are shocked to see the way we live. At one point one of them says, "Who is this Santa Claus? .... Is he in the Bible?"

Moments like that are seen throughout and indeed many scenes are hilarious. But the most important thing about this film is that it reminds me that our Christian brothers and sisters throughout the world are suffering terribly.

Christians are the most persecuted people-group on the planet today. The mainstream media overlooks this fact daily, but if you live in many parts of Africa, South Asia or the Middle East, being a Christian is dangerous and deadly business. Unknown Christians are martyred daily throughout the world.

We need to speak out about this and pray for the more than 200-million Christians who are undergoing active persecution.

Our "ANNIE"

I recently learned that our older daughter, whom I've always known as Anastasia, has changed her name. I'd like to introduce you to.......Annie! A boy at school called her Annie one day in class, and apparently it stuck.

Our "Annie" is natural artist. She has an eye for all things beautiful, as you can see by her latest posting, demonstrating her photography skills.