You Cannot Do Otherwise

On occasion I receive private emails from prospective parents at various stages of the Ukraine adoption process. It's always amusing and humbling that someone would seek my advice, but I love having an opportunity to share our experience and hope with other families. Most everyone is experiencing some degree of fear - everything from the home study (no big deal), driving in Ukraine (very scary!) or dealing with hurting children.

It took us 18 months from the beginning to the end of our "process" and we faced much fear. But I was continually inspired and encouraged by all the great adoption blogs, especially those who were in Ukraine. At times I thought we would never get there and back, and the anxiety of actually making it all happen was overwhelming.

I think this why you see so many of us writing about our faith. We realize that we can only do so much. The results and timing are entirely in God's hands. But sometimes we forget that and are vulnerable to discouragement along the way. So, for anyone who is getting jittery, let me suggest that you do yourself a favor and read the brilliant biography of John Adams, by David McCullough.

I live in the land of Patrick Henry, Thomas Jefferson and George Washington, but after reading this magnificent account of our second President, Adams takes a backseat to none, and is arguably the cream of the crop. Certainly, none of the other luminaries of the American Revolution shared Adams' devout Christian faith. He had never sailed on a sea-going ship before, but with unbelievable courage, he accepted an assignment for a dangerous transatlantic diplomatic mission to France in the middle of the war, with his ten year old son! McCullough writes:

"He was embarking on a 3,000 mile voyage on the North Atlantic in its most treacherous season...Adams was leaving his wife, children, friends, his home, his livelihood, everything he loved. He was risking his life and that of his small son, risking capture and who knew what horrors and indignities as a prisoner. At age forty-two he was bound for an unimaginably distant world apart, with very little idea of what was in store and every cause to be extremely apprehensive. But with his overriding sense of duty, his need to serve, his ambition, and as a patriot fiercely committed to the fight for independence, he could not have done otherwise."

Indeed the voyage nearly killed everyone on board, but Adams and young John Quincy made it and went on to turn the tide of our nation's future. When I read the above words I thought of how adoptive parents feel likewise. Despite all the insanity one goes through by choosing to adopt in wild and wonderful Ukraine, we could not have done otherwise!

Today in church, we were reminded of the words of Psalm 139:16: "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." As our pastor put it, God ordains our birth and death. It is all in His hands and we no longer have to be overwhelmed by our anxiety over what could go wrong. In fact, we can live courageously because our life is not our own!

I am grateful to all you who've written me heartfelt messages. Many of you prayed for us during our seven week adventure, and I am happy to return the favor as you step out in faith - you can not do otherwise.